My emotional mindset is making this harder

I’m 31F, 5’8” and ~150 lbs. So not terribly overweight, but I’m feeling so uncomfortable in my body. I have gained 20-25 lbs in the past few years.

At first, it was kind of a nice thing. I was in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship and I put on 5 pounds. I was so thin for my entire twenties, it was kind of nice to loosen up a bit.

Then some Covid weight gain from more alcohol and being more sedentary… and then my subclinical hypothyroidism (Hashimoto’s) became full-fledged hypothyroidism.

I really don’t like how I look, it’s destroying my self-esteem. I know it’s not a big deal, and that maybe even losing 10-15 of the pounds would be enough to feel better. But the weight loss is so difficult with my newly sluggish thyroid, I feel really hopeless.

Every day I am on the verge of tears while getting dressed, I only want to wear baggy clothing because my skin crawls at anything pressing against my thighs or love handles.

My boyfriend is a bit overweight, but I don’t care if he loses, I find him super attractive the way he is. But he isn’t very supportive of my goals, I mean, he is technically… I guess he doesn’t see why it’s such a big deal. I’m glad that he thinks I look good the way I am, but I don’t 😔 I hate seeing myself naked and avoid photographs at all costs.

I am walking 10-20K steps a day and I try so hard to restrict to 1200-1400… but I simply can’t. When I’m alone during the day it works, but at night I become ravenous and clear the plate when my boyfriend serves me a huge portion. My hunger feels kind of extreme, like my thyroid meds are maybe contributing to it? It feels hormonal and uncontrollable, it’s not just a mild desire to eat… it’s straight up hunger pain.

Sorry for the wall of text. I don’t know what to do, I can’t figure this out after a year of trying… I wish my self-esteem and body image weren’t so wrecked, I wish I could be okay either way. I guess I’m used to having a “perfect body” and I need to change my attitude as I grow older. I want to lose weight healthily and it feels unhealthy to care this much.

submitted by /u/time-is-elastic
[link] [comments]

from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3BGp7Pc