My mother keeps actively triggering me to binge

I'm 17 and have been overweight all my life and have been 300lbs throughout my teenage years. These past two years I recognised that my weight is going to cause me multiple health problems, especially as my father died of a weight related heart attack. I've lost a small amount, down to around 270lbs. And I could have lost a lot more if it wasn't for living with my mother.

My mother has made fun of my weight and appearance for as long as I could remember. By the time I was 5, I was too self conscious about my appearance to leave the car and never tried to make any friends because my mother always told me everyone was repulsed by me. Every day without fail, she remarks on how disgusting or evil I am, and that caused me to stress eat tremendously as a kid, and I still do it now.

But the thing is, despite thinking I look hideous at this weight, she does everything she can to stop me from losing weight. She was very obese herself until she was around 40, and belittling me most likely makes her feel better about her body. I would say I'm trying to eat healthy and want less processed frozen foods. She then proceededs to bring me what I asked for but also a heap of processed junk food that overflows the house. When I cook healthy meals, she says she wants a portion. But then she looks at what I make and turns her nose up at it, because she doesn't eat vegetables or anything without meat. So portion control doesn't work for me. And every other day, she orders take out and keeps asking and asking and asking if I want any. She won't stop until I say yes. And then I'll eat what I've given, because my willpower is so weak when everything I'm craving is right infront of me.

I have no idea what to do. I've tried everything but I keep getting sabotaged by my own mother. I joined a weight loss programme for the first time last week, but it's useless with my mother around. I feel extremely stuck. My mental health and physical health is just always declining every day and it sucks, because I'm really trying to do better, even with a weight like her around my neck

submitted by /u/fizzobel
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