Wednesday, January 1, 2020

15 pounds in the last month? I’m ashamed of myself.

The month of December I slacked off big time. And on purpose, too. I wanted to get my last fill of eating and feeling like shit so I had absolutely zero excuse. I vowed not to step on the scale until January 1st, 2020. And that’s what I did just a few seconds ago. My heaviest weight ever has been 232.6. I’d been hovering around that the last time I stepped on the scale in early December so figured I’d gained maybe one or two pounds because even with a ton of binge eating, I gain like maybe 4 pounds and then lose it quickly. However I stepped on the scale today and am now a whopping 247.4. That’s exactly 14.8 pounds. This is the absolute heaviest I have ever been. I couldn’t even tell I was getting bigger was the thing! Sure, I noticed I now fit into that 2XL pajama shirt I had, and that I didn’t fit into a couple other things but I chalked it up to just looking bad that day? Idk. So I now have to lose 87.4 pounds to get down to my weight loss goal and wow, that’s really sad. I never thought I’d wish to be back at 232! Sorry for the vent, I needed it!

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