I've had really great progress with my weight loss over the last year (335lbs --> 206lbs) mostly from CICO, eating fresh produce, tracking my food (via MyFitnessPal) and exercising. Nothing revolutionary. Still, I feel pretty good about how far I've come and how my life has changed for the better.
Yesterday, though, I was reading comments on a weight loss forum and a poster said something that bothered me. They claimed that to lose weight we basically trade "one version of disordered eating for another." Their entire argument was that once you're eating very poorly to the point of obesity, the only "cure" is actually just swapping to another form of disordered eating: caloric reduction, constant conscious dieting, restriction forever, etc. They were basically saying that once you've got an unhealthy relationship with food, it's forever. You're either overeating or restricting. No middle ground.
And although I wish I could say that I can laugh this comment off as patently ridiculous, there is something about it that is bothering me and I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe it's that I am quite aware that I've had a very unhealthy relationship with food and in order to combat that I am now very aware of what I put into my body, when, and how much.
I would be lying if I didn't admit that I'm very cognizant of my caloric intake and nutrition these days. To lose nearly 130lbs, you have to be. I try to eat very healthily (and my doctor agrees). I'm a 5'11" male and I eat approximately 1800-2100 calories a day and I exercise. But this all takes conscious effort.
I personally don't think I'll ever feel truly "free" with food. Certainly not like I used to.
I'm not sure if I'll ever eat again without at least tracking my food. There won't be any thoughtless meals, unconscious chews, or complete lack of care. I'll always have to think before I eat and consider what I've already eaten that day.
Does that mean that I have traded up for a new form of disordered eating?
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