Yeah so I am on a throwaway because I don't really like talking about my weight or weight loss. This is definitely uncomfortable for me. Brief back story, I had/have been fat my whole life. Before I even have memories I was morbidly obese, BMI obesity probably starting around age 8 or 9. My family is overweight and I just never really learned or understood any healthy eating habits, a pretty terrible excuse for leading a life of terrible health habits if you ask me. I am sure a lot of you know this but over time you just become conditioned to it. I always thought I was destined to be big forever and didn't really think about it much or try to do anything about it for a long time. I always hated it about myself, still do. After I graduated college I was the biggest I had ever been and felt worse than ever so I decided I wanted to try to get healthy. So here I am a couple years later down over 200 pounds as of just before the new year. No signs of stopping. I completely changed my relationship with food. Physically, I feel the best I ever have in my life. Mentally, it is definitely very freeing to unburden yourself from a deeply rooted food addiction. Feel free to ask questions about the actual weight loss process and I will try to reply. I definitely want to try and help anyone else with their own weight loss journey, as I understand that is what this sub is traditionally for. But it was pretty easy for me once I put my mind to it, to be completely honest. It's really just CICO and exercise. Which leads me to my point, I've never felt worse about myself than I do now. After realizing how easy it is to be healthy I am finding it hard to forgive myself for the way I lived my entire life. I have succeeded in most other areas of my life so far/am happy with my life, but I can't get over this big failure of my life. Maybe I am being too hard on myself, but I can't shake this feeling of overall failure even despite getting my health on track now. The thoughts of all the ways being obese my whole life has held me back to this point is not an easy pill to swallow. I destroyed my body before I even realized that I was in control. I really feel like I never gave myself a chance to be all I could be... I am now being showered with a lot of "you look great" type comments from people, which is honestly a really hard thing to hear when you don't believe it yourself. I feel like my self esteem has only gotten worse with weight loss, as dumb as that sounds. The more weight I lose the more critical of myself I become. It's not something I can really talk about with anyone because all the close friends/family around me think I should be feeling the best I ever have (my friends and family are great and very supportive so they bring up the whole "you look great" type comments very frequently). Maybe this isn't the right sub for this, but in a way it feels good to type it out somewhere. Anyone else experience something similar after major weight loss?
PS. I don't mean to discourage anyone from their weight loss goals, trust me I feel infinitely better now so don't stop until you reach your goals. I definitely won't!
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2FsudTo
No comments:
Post a Comment