I'm feeling all sorts of ways right now, good ways! I'm 38F, 5'7". This isn't my first time doing the thing, but this time around I started on August 28 2019 at 260# and i am 199.8# today!
Backstory.. my Husband and I worked out together in 2009 for the first time since marrying in 2004. We followed a bodybuilding routine and were successful. He went from 350 to 250 and I from 225 to 190ish by mid 2010.
His Mother passed away shortly after and he did not cope well. Shot back up to 450. I got to 275 and decided I'd had enough so I started by myself June 2012. Got down to mid-180s and hovered there. Husband joined me early 2013 when I joined a Crossfit gym and went from 450 to 230.
But he wasnt dealing with his mental issues. Reignited an old heroin habit and OD'd Nov 2014. I did not deal well with this and stopped eating.
Then my mom was killed Easter morning in a car crash 5 months later and I, too, reignited an old flame with drugs and became an active addict, getting down to 150#. Which i thought was just the best weight loss program ever!
I OD'd Sep 2017 and that was my rock bottom. Sought therapy and rehab to deal with grief, loss, guilt, shame...
I put down the spoon and picked up a fork.
Shot up to 275# within 9 months and was on/off dieting, but only lost 15# to get to 260#. It was too much to deal with therapy and drug addiction at the same time as dieting so I held steady there. Was also going back to school to finish my B.S. (graduated Dec 2019).
I have almost 3 years clean. After I stabilized my recovery, I decided it was time to recover from food addiction as well. I've applied the same principles I was taught to deal with drug cravings and thoughts to food cravings. Identify a using thought, follow the source of that thought, interrupt the thought with a healthy action, then journal about it when the craving passes. (That's the basics of it, but there's more to it than that, especially when I crave drugs, which doesn't happen often now). Meditation is a new high for me, also.
I eat between 1200 and 1500 calories. I don't do Keto as prescribed, but I do watch the kinds of carbs I eat-only healthy ones. So, no soda, bread, sugar, refined and processed foods, no fast food, but yes to sweet potatoes, quinoa, brown rice, fruits, etc.
I started walking just 15minutes in the beginning. Slowly added time and distance and by a month and a half in, I was walking 4 miles in 1hr15min. Now it's cold and I dont walk, but I had a gym membership to the YMCA Nov and Dec so I started we9ght lifting again. For Christmas, I bought myself a squat rack and barbell so I have the very basics of a home gym. I also started doing yoga again. I'm not very active currently, really honing in on the food aspect.
60# down, about 40 more to go to my ultimate goal. I realized that I have an addictive personality and I can choose to channel that into bad habits or good habits.
Today, I choose to be addicted to getting healthy.
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