I am a 55-year-old, 5'10" woman, and I currently weigh 138 pounds. I have struggled with my weight since I was 13 years and my family life imploded. I had nowhere to go, so I turned to food. I became obsessed. I would steal food and hide it under my bed. I would get out of bed after the family had gone to sleep and make myself a second dinner. Later on, I became a chef.
My weight over the years has fluctuated greatly. When I would diet, I would lose 25-40 pounds, then slowly gain it all back plus 5-10 pounds. I used to drink a lot, which already provided me with more daily calories than I needed. Then, I would indulge in restaurant food. And, as many chef's, I am a junk food-sugar addict.
I've tried so many diets, it's crazy. I weighed 180 pounds when I was 15 years old. My alcoholic father worked as a janitor for a grocery store and was allowed to buy shopping carts full of loose bottles of beer. He didn't drink beer, so it was all for me. During the summer, I actually went on a beer diet for a month. I ate next to nothing. Which was usually instant mashed potatoes. I did lose about 15 pounds, but my belly got big. That's the kind of family I lived in. I went on to crash dieting, starving myself, and trying many of the book diets that were popular at the time. Then, after losing weight, my sugar monster would come back, and the next thing I know is, I'm eating my gateway drug, doughnuts.
Here's the weird part, I stopped drinking some years back, which helped with weight loss. I continued to completely obsess over food and, since I am a chef, I can literally cook anything. I hid cookies, chips, and candy from my husband, and regularly ate fast food during the day. Then make a gourmet meal for my husband and I, which was always healthy. My husband couldn't figure out why I was so heavy.
After a split from my husband, I weighed around 165 pounds. I was under a lot of stress and lost a little weight, but continued to obsess and plan my bad eating. Then, I entered an extremely stressful situation, that scared off 15 pounds. After that, my appetite literally disappeared. Appetite is different than hunger. Hunger is what we feel physically when our bodies are in need of nourishment. Appetite is what we think of when we are going to eat something. It's what causes us to obsess over food, and lose control of our eating.
One day, I just didn't think about food. I had no appetite. It's continued. For the last 10 months, zero obsession, no fast food, but still a little sugar. If I didn't eat some sugar, I would continue to lose weight. I don't plan or obsess. I have to make myself eat. My portion sizes are too small, and my food is bland and uninteresting. I am shocked! What happened to my crazy eating routine? It was like a little miracle. My immediate people say I'm too thin, but I am loving my current weight, and that I've lost my appetite. And, as a chef, I haven't lost my passion for food and cooking though. I think it's all very strange. What do you think?
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2Sd8zIN
No comments:
Post a Comment