Thinking back to April 2018 is pretty crazy. I know I'm still the same person through and through, but sometimes it doesn't quite feel like it. I'd like to list a few things that helped me immensely, in no particular order:
- Not counting calories: The most difficult obstacle I've had to overcome having been significantly overweight was building the patience and accepting that it's going to take a while. One of the major enemies in that struggle was counting calories. The awareness of being on an irregular state of living and having to quantify what you consume can only be withstood for so long, and while I do think it can be useful in certain situations, I would argue it's more suited for when the goal is to lose 3 or 4 kg, rather than 30 or 40. Most people know when they've had enough, and especially when you are motivated enough to *start* a diet, counting calories is usually just a slippery slope to eating more. Which leads me to my next point...
- Eliminating carbohydrates: I know that not everyone is fat because of carbs, but I think that this is the case for a lot of people (perhaps most), and it certainly was for me. You can lecture me on the importance of a balanced diet all you want, but you won't convince me that this was the way to go for me. As it stands, I know what food I was (is?) unable to resist, and I know that had I not completely eliminated it from my diet, I would have never been able to succeed. So, for however long I've been able to abide, my carb intake was as close to zero as possible. No sugar, no pasta, potatoes, rice, or anything else. Being in a much healthier weight now, I still feel great guilt whenever I indulge. Is it healthy to carry that mindset? Probably not. But it sure is much healthier than being 120kg.
- Really getting into fitness (once I was ready): Originally, I didn't see gyms in any terms other than a means to losing weight-- and one, in fact, that was inferior to simply "eating less". I didn't have enough respect for the strength aspect, and considered "gym people" as a separate tribe that was just about looking good. Regardless, I joined a gym to accelerate my progress once I felt confident enough to start working out. My main motivation at the time was still losing weight, so I did what any misinformed person would and stuck to cardio for a little while. While I haven't been counting my gym days, I'm fairly confident I've hit double digits since last April. My average must be around 3 days a week, and needless to say I moved to lifting weights pretty fast. While bodybuilding itself is not an individual goal for me, it has been a byproduct of the paradigm shift in my mind about what a gym is and what fitness is. It sure feels nice to have built some muscle in the year since last April, but what draws me to pursuit it even further is the way I feel as I get stronger, faster and more durable. Every lift is like a small goal I manage to meet, and even when I hate having to wake up at 06:00 to work out, I almost never skip it. It invariably makes me more inclined to go about my day more motivated and more prepared to meet my other goals as well. I know some people might not like me saying this, but exercise is criminally undervalued when it comes to weight loss. While using thermodynamics may give the sense that it doesn't offer a lot (partially because studies have been focused on measuring short-term calories lost while exercising, rather than metabolic changes that occur more long-term--especially through weight lifting), the energy and motivation it provides are a game changer. It's important to feel ready before you join the gym, and it's okay to stick to the treadmill for a while-- I would argue that the psychological conditioning cardio offers is more important in the beginning than the superior metabolic changes obtained by weight lifting. Please consider working out when you feel ready. I wouldn't have succeeded without it.
- Doing something hard: Good psychology and motivation have been great catalysts in this journey, and what I've discovered is that succeeding in one area leads to success in other areas as well. During those two years I've challenged myself in every way possible-- from academically, to physically, to intellectually, to socially. I finished my thesis and continue to advance my knowledge in my academic field to higher and higher standards. I built discipline and made effort to stay consistent in every day things like being dependable and being patient with people, waking up early (I exercise early in the morning -- 06:30 with little variation for month after month!), keeping my apartment clean, an so on. I became more assertive and started meeting new people and becoming more social as a result. I set professional goals that keep me on my toes. I've gained so many new experiences and no day is like the previous one. It's hard, but living up to responsibility has created a positive feedback loop that drives me like nothing else.
The other day, I compared a picture I put on MyFitnessPal around two years ago with a picture of me now, and it's unbelievable. And yet, I think the biggest difference isn't physical, but mental. It's not that I simply learned how to eat less, or even that I simply became less compulsive. Rather, I have reevaluated my priorities as a person and I have changed the way I perceive and confront the world around me. I am much more proactive, and that translates in every way imaginable.
I've met so many of my goals and I'm in the fittest I've ever been, body and soul. Sometimes I'm paralysed from the excitement I feel about the things I still have ahead of me. I'm anxious about living up to my goals, but I'm extremely motivated and confident that I can succeed. And I think this is one important silver lining for anyone who has been overweight for a long time-- it takes a certain strength of character to change your habits and become fit, but if you manage it, it carries over to many other aspects of your life.
I still want to lose around 5kg by next April, but my main focus right now is training for strength. I hope to be able to report even more progress next year!
Keep it up everyone!
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