24m, 5'11 and 156lbs.
In the last 5 months I have lost weight from 233lbs. I am close to my goal weight of 145 lbs.
Obviously my weight loss happened very quickly, I am bipolar and this happened in a manic phase for me- I'm currently controlling it with medication to calm me down a little. In my manic phases I seem to have basically infinite energy, I dedicated my entire life to losing weight and exercised for hours daily and honestly I barely felt hunger? Well I certainly managed to ignore it if I did.
Now for the last month the medication has been taking effect and my weight loss is suffering :( I am starting to feel very hungry.
3 weeks ago my housemate invited me to eat with her, she made a huge bowl of pasta for me and gave me some cakes for after. I hadn't eaten anything like that in months and I promised myself that I never would eat food like that again. My diet is very low carbs and low sugar. Anyway, for some reason I ate it all really quickly and then when she left I ate half the contents of the fridge.
I have never felt so disgusted with myself, why do I have no self control? I knew I had to make myself throw up so I did.
Now, almost every day since then I have been eating large amounts of food then throwing up. I hate it. Why can't I just control myself like a normal person? I managed before. I don't want to get bulimia.
I am so close to coming off my medication and just seeing what happens. I did a bunch of crazy and stupid stuff last time but I don't care as long as I can stop this binging and lose weight again.
Help :( has anyone else gone through this after a big weight loss? I feel so out of control and I'm scared. I need that control back in my life.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2VcYAGa
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