I stopped looking at myself!
The last time I lost weight was a couple years ago in 2018 where I lost 20kg between January and July. Back then, I hated my reflection and was fuelled by severe self-loathing. Since then, I've made strides in self acceptance and have much better self esteem. But I avoid my reflection. If I have to use changing rooms at the shops, it makes me feel bad for that day but by the following day, I'm indifferent on the issue.
Weight is just an indicator, a proxy, for what I want to achieve which is a better looking body. And the numbers seem abstract and vague when uncoupled from my appearance. I stared at myself for a few minutes yesterday and it dawned on me that I dislike what I see. And for the first time that didn't affect my self esteem. I think I've gotten to the state where I can make aesthetic improvements head on and somewhat dispassionately without it becoming toxic. Like a sculptor chipping away at marble.
Though it seems strange, I think that reminding myself that I don't quite like what I see in the mirror will be imperative for achieving my weight loss goals
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2VdmmlD
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