Long time loser and long time lurker of this sub. Back in 2011 I hit my "highest weight ever" (HAHAHA) which was a "shocking" 181 lbs and my doctor suggested I lose 20 lbs. That is when I learned about calorie counting, took up running, and managed to get down to about 147 lbs, which was a decent weight for my height, although my goal had been in the 130s. I became very athletic, ran in 5K and 10K races all the time, whereas before I had always just assumed I "wasn't good at running" because I would get winded and out of breath whenever I tried. Life was good. I got an amazing (I thought) boyfriend who didn't own a car and biked everywhere, so I biked with him, which helped maintain my fitness and weight.
Unfortunately, in 2014, said boyfriend dumped me and it turned out he wasn't as great as I thought he was. I spiralled into depression, and spent the following (ridiculously snowy and cold) winter not exercising and making and eating many pans of brownies, and barely managing to keep my job. By 2017 I was over 200 lbs and I finally said enough was enough, and started on the weight loss train. I also got married, and I wanted to have a baby, but didn't want obesity to possibly create complications in pregnancy. I lost over 30 lbs before I got pregnant, and I promised myself I would *not* gain a ton of weight in pregnancy.
Well, pregnancy sucked, I was nauseated CONSTANTLY the entire time, and the only thing that made me feel not sick was eating. So I ate and ate and ate. I gained over 60 lbs. I don't actually know how much because I refused to look at my weight after a certain point (also, I'm a bit frustrated that at no point did my doctor tell me I was gaining too much weight, because they weighed me at every appointment and if someone had pointed it out to me it might have kicked my rear into gear. I get that I should have taken responsibility, but I also want to find a new doctor who isn't scared to bring up weight). But, AFTER giving birth I was at 225, so who knows how much I weighed while I was still pregnant. Ugh.
I was breastfeeding so I couldn't diet very much, because every time I tried restricting calories my milk production would tank, so I had to consume at least 1800 a day. I also didn't exercise much due to lack of time, chronic sleep deprivation, and the fact that exercising at 225 lbs is miserable. I still lost weight slowly, and when my baby turned a year old and no longer needed milk as his primary source of calories, I jumped in to 1200 calories a day. My weight loss has kicked in at 1 - 1.5 lbs a week now, and I'm finally seeing progress. I'm down to 186--I just got back into "overweight" instead of obese! Yay!
My goal is to reach 135 lbs, which I think I can do by the end of the year if I stay on track, add in more exercise, and don't get pregnant again. It's hard. But I'm committed. I will stay at 1200 for a year if I have to. Then I will go to 1400-1500 (or whatever, depending on how much I start running again) and I will KEEP LOGGING MY CALORIES FOREVER. This time I swear it is the last time. I will NOT gain it all back. Lately I've been hearing a lot of people declaring that "weight loss doesn't work!" and "even if you lose weight you will just gain it all back plus more!" and I'm so angry that in my case they were right. I will NOT let myself be "proof" of their ridiculous claims.
I recently received a $40 Amazon gift card for participating in a weight loss study (it wasn't very useful to me because it turned out the entire study was just teaching people how to calorie count using MFP, and I'm already very familiar with MFP and CICO). I want to use it to buy something that will support my weight loss and fitness journey in some way (or maybe reward myself for the progress I've made so far), but I can't think of what to get. I already have a food scale (one of the el cheapo ones but it works fine). What would you buy? Workout clothes? A motivational poster? "Self care" stuff? I considered buying a fitbit but those cost a bit more than $40 and I'm kind of on a budget (also I'm not really sure how useful it would be). Is there anything that you have found really helpful to your weight loss and fitness efforts that you could recommend I buy?
Thanks in advance for your support!
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