Tuesday, June 29, 2021

I'm the lightest I've been in my adult life! And my weight loss journey

F22 5'7 sw96kg cw69kg gw60kg

This morning I weighed myself and I have hit the lightest weight since I was probably about 16. I'm pretty proud of myself.

Sorry for the long post - heres my story.

I was probably a normal weight (never skinny) until I hit maybe 10 and then I got chubby. This continued and by high school I was aware I was chubbier than most of my friends. The trend continued, and by graduation at 18 I was probably around 85-90kg. I took a gap year and during this time I hit my highest weight of 96 when I was 19. During this time I thought I was a bit big but I didn't think I was too bad. Its crazy how you can look back at photos from that time and think wtf was I thinking, how did I not realise how overweight I was (obese by bmi at my highest, approx size 18/20us).

I went on an overseas trip on my gap year and when I came back I had lost about 15kg in the 2 months overseas, I put this down mostly to walking around the entire day and having anxiety about eating alone in public so not eating much until dinner with friends. I was so happy to be about 80kg, the lightest I'd been for a while. But the habits came back when I was back at home, and I think I gained back about 10kg before I decided I needed to do something. I went on fad diets and there was definitely some yoyo-ing but I ended up losing probably about 5kg again. So from 19-21 I was stuck at about 83-85, always gaining and losing the same couple kgs.

1.5 years ago I moved out of home, and it was a struggle learning to cook portions of food for a single person (instead of the whole family) and feeling free to eat any bad stuff I wanted. But I also didn't have the temptations of the family home, and I was separated from my mom with whom I share some terrible eating habits, so I was able to start on a journey to rethink my (disordered) relationship with food. I also started going to the gym and that was fun but I was never consistent enough to see big results.

Before the start of a big covid lockdown I left my flat and went to stay with extended family. Apart from being very awkward, this family also had very different eating habits from me, and it wasn't as much food as I was used to. I was always hungry but I figured it was just a diet without me having to use any willpower lol. It was also healthy food so I was feeling good if hungry. By the end of this I think I lost at least 5-10kg in 6 weeks (not sure of starting weight so I have to guess) but after moving out again (lockdown eased and back to work) I was about 73kg. I managed to get down to 69.5 about one year ago but then my birthday hit and I gained back to 73-75 and maintained that weight.

Spending some time with my mother recently really made me realise how deep seated the bad habits/relationship we have with food are especially when we are together. So I gained ~4kg in a couple of months and decided I have had enough. I'm feeling motivated, doing CICO at a deficit and exercising and I'm 69kg today, down 5.5kg in 3 weeks.

I think I wasn't eating enough at the start of these couple of weeks, so I'm trying to get up to a regular deficit instead of just trying to eat as little as possible, I know that's very unhealthy.

It's pretty crazy seeing these numbers on the scale that I haven't seen in years and years, and it feels good to finally fall in the 'normal' range of bmi after so long in overweight or obese. It is a bit disheartening to think that I'm not really that much lighter than I was a year ago, but this is a journey and I know there'll always be ups and downs. I'm pretty new to this subreddit but I love reading other people's stories so I thought I'd share my own and my little victory today. Thanks for reading.

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