So I 35F 6’1” SW 205 lbs CW 179 lbs GW 163 lbs started CICO roughly three months ago and have lost 26 lbs so far. This means for the first time in six years I am no longer overweight! However, my weight loss has definitely stalled at this point and I haven’t really lost any more in two weeks now, so I’m feeling kind of discouraged.
So today I’m at the restaurant where I work as a server, and the manager gathers us to sing happy birthday for the chef. My coworker brings out a gorgeous chocolate cake. At this point I have eaten family meal and have only 400 cal left available. I save these for a light dinner which I eat after my shift and if I eat this cake now I will be hungry by the time I go to bed and risk going over my limit. What happens though is we sing happy birthday and the kitchen guys place the cake right next to my station and get back to setting up for dinner service. Um, a cake was brought out and is sitting there uncovered and no one is eating it I’m sorry what?!
So I go into self loathing mode as I try to polish silverware with the cake in my peripheral. Of course I’m the only one having major anxiety right now, I’m still fat at heart, I’m an embarrassment etc. Finally I decide I’ve had enough, I’m hungry and on a calorie deficit, screw this. I walk into the kitchen with the cake announcing without shame ‘I’m removing this from my line of vision!’ and place it on a counter. To which my coworker says ‘thank you!’
I’m drinking coffee now. They did cut the cake in there eventually but out of my sight. Out of sight out of mind.
I know this may seem trite but I’m proud I stopped blaming myself and did what I needed to do instead of enduring anxiety which would probably lead to eating the cake. I mean who just leaves an uncovered shiny cake out and can focus on work? Not me and that’s fine
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