Alright so first a little backstory.
Growing up i was always battling with weight issues. At my worst i was 211 pounds. I am a 5’8” man and I had very little muscle at the time since I was pretty unathletic.
THEN in college at 22 years old (I’m 26 now) I went through a massive transformation when I started weight lifting. I dropped to, at my lowest, 181 and a lot of that was muscle since I was lifting regularly and eating a lot of protein. I have to admit though, despite this i never completely broke my bad eating habits. Once I finished losing weight to a point I was comfortable with, i essentially went back to eating a lot of crap food but i guess my protein intake and exercise offset it because I maintained this physique for years. I can say it changed almost every aspect of my life positively and i was really happy.
Then two things happened that really changed things-
First was the pandemic combined with a breakup. I’m sure this sub has heard this story before so i won’t retell it. One unique aspect of mine was that i had to relocate at least 4 times during the whole thing and had to almost “restart” my life each time. E.g. changing address, make new friends, find a new job etc.. With all of this plus depression and financial issues i put working out on the back burner. I also increasingly turned to junk food for comfort to cope with the extreme loneliness.
The second thing was right after i had finally gotten a gym membership again and had just gotten started on building back my physique i discovered i had a congenital heart condition and my doctor says i should avoid heavy lifting ever again. I have to avoid something called “valsalva” and shouldn’t be routinely lifting anything more than half my body weight. Apparently low weight high reps is still okay though.
Anyway now I’m finally settled in a permanent location but I’m struggling to find the motivation to take weight loss seriously. I’ve tried to find things to replace weightlifting like boxing but they don’t give me the same enthusiasm because i don’t have the same satisfaction. I shot back up to the 200s at my worst and now I’m somewhere around 194 (22% body fat) and I just know I would feel so much better if i only lost 10 freaking more pounds but the combination of “not give a shit” syndrome, defeatism over my heart condition , loneliness from breakup stuff + living in a new city means that i am really struggling. I have had so many “today is the first day of a new diet” in the last few months it’s embarrassing. I feel as if I’ve regressed to my pre college self and it’s impacting my mental health in a pretty negative way.
Please guys, any positive perspective or insight would be greatly appreciated.
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