Saturday, August 28, 2021

I made a Word spreadsheet of things I hate about my body

Male 19 5’8 Total weight loss:81 pounds

So loving/ accepting/ appreciating/ being neutral about my body after weight loss just doesn’t seem to flow through me. I’ve gone to therapy for it but they didn’t help either. Today I was feeling exceptionally terrible about my body shape because I was walking past a mirror at the mall and saw my shoe and immediately felt like I needed to cover up with a sweater or something baggy because you could see my true shape through the shirt I was wearing. Then an old friend came by to see me and he was wearing a tight white tank top and I immediately shit down I kept comparing his body to mine and just wishing that things would’ve turned out so different for me and that I wouldn’t have been obese so that I could look that good in tight clothing. He’s not even ripped he has like skinny muscle. Anyways so I layes in bed and made a spreadsheet of the list of things I hate about my body and to no surprise it surpassed the things I was happy about, so I think that my permanent life struggle is never finding myself attractive nor good looking enough to date or have sex.

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