I've lost 75 lbs, I have 35 more to go.
Being overweight and presenting female, I learned to be "bitchy" as a maladaptive coping device. When you grow up with people not wanting to befriend or include you because your weight makes you "different and undesirable", it's hard to shake that thought as an adult.
It's an ass-backwards but pretty common one - if people dislike my personality then they can't dislike my weight! And if my weight is not the negative factor, then I can keep making excuses instead of fixing it.
That said, I was not prepared for how much the world would open up - both good and bad, when I got under 200 lbs. The more I lost weight, the more confident and friendly I became. My world view definitely changed in part due to my attitude adjustment. I understand that's a contributing factor.
The hard truth is the more weight I lose, the more my workplace interactions change. When I was heavier, male coworkers seemed annoyed by having to interact with me or took a paternalistic approach. Women would either, as predicted, ostracize or bully me but some would be friendly.
Now that I'm almost 80 lbs lighter, on the positive side, male coworkers have changed their tune to genuine interest or kindness without the paternalistic edge. It makes my day to day interactions easier, so I won't complain. On the negative, the more insecure men seem interested in "putting me in my place", giving me orders despite having zero authority, or correcting me more often (this also might be part of working in a mostly-male industry). Most of my interactions with women have soured. They actually seem less positive overall. There's a lot more pushback when I make requests, unprovoked nasty attitudes, and visible gatekeeping.
FWIW, this is a general observation, not necessarily isolated to my main team of colleagues, there's been no real change in their behavior. They're a good, stable group.
Has anyone else experienced this?
Since losing weight, how have your social interactions changes at work?
How have they changed outside of work?
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