Sunday, September 26, 2021

Afraid to step on a scale after I started my weight loss journey.

So, basically I'm scared I haven't been losing weight like I thought. Now, I KNOW I have because clothes fit better and I can physically see it. I'm a big guy. At my highest I was close to 500 pounds...yeah. I actually managed to lose all the way into the 300s. I plateaud around 320 for the longest time then ended up gaining some weight up into around the 350s.

That is the last time I weighed myself, when I was 350. That is also when I decided I needed to restart my journey. What I did is basically exercise and calorie deficit.

I figured my best way forward isn't to go on a full diet where I completely changed what I eat BUT to focus on what I'm already eating and how I can lower the calories or even simply eat the same things, just less of them. For example, I still can eat McDonald's (not every day obviously but I'm using it as an example). However, I don't go and eat a Big Mac with everything on it, a large fry and a soda. I go and get pretty much a Quarter Pounder by itself and a water. A quarter pounder alone isn't much calories so I know I can easily fit it in. I also do not eat breakfast. I do very rarely, it's just something I've done forever and it helps me in the long run as far as calorie deficit.

So, in short, I HAVE been tracking my calories even when I eat "badly". According to all the calculators I've tried and stuff, my maintenance calories fall somewhere in the 2800-3000 range (I'm about to be 29, 6'0, male). Right now, I have about 2600 calories as my budget where I can eat up to that and still lose weight, even if its a half a pound a week.

I am finding it difficult to eat anywhere close to that! My calorie intake generally falls somewhere within 1800-2200ish calories. It can depend on the day and how I felt I was doing the previous few days/week so I decide to eat a little more one day or something.

So, by literal nature I should be losing weight. However I just find myself scared I'm not. Because I'm still fat. I still see it every day. I'm a big dude naturally so I don't necessarily look like I weight 300+ pounds but I know I might still be in the 300s. How do I fit off the mental stuff of "its not working!"? Because I KNOW for a fact it is. I feel myself losing weight and again, I have been tracking my calorie intake. I am being truthful. I am holding myself accountable. It's actually physically so hard to even think about eating upwards of 3500 calories (which is whereabouts I would be to GAIN weight).

Hopefully some people can offer advice on how to go forward without stressing that what I'm doing isn't working even though I KNOW it is. I can say I have a problem with overthinking things and I have come to realize that recently and I am trying to work on that. And I am probably doing the same thing here and overthinking this completely. I'm absolutely kicking ass with my goals right now and I KNOW it but...idk.

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