[Day 1] Gained a Lot During COVID and Now I'm Ready to Lose Again!

Hello everyone,

I'm a 29M who has been struggling with his weight for over a decade. Right now, I'm a full-time student and work part-time in retail to make ends meet. I'm also obsessed with bettering my life. I quit my full-time job with my savings and (I know this isn't the GREATEST idea) my 401k so I could return to school. With the support of my savings and my family, I've done well for myself, including getting into one of the best state schools in the country (Go Blue!). The one area of my life that I've always had a hard time improving, though, was my weight. It's affected my confidence in my appearance and has made me extremely insecure about dating and relationships. Now, though, I'm finally ready to shed these pounds for good!

CW: 320.2 lbs GW: 160 lbs Height: 5'9"

Since 2010, I haven't dropped below 250 lbs and I'm finally ready to be done with this. Now, that's not to say I haven't tried in the past.

I've made several attempts since 2012 to lose a substantial amount of weight:

2012: 319 -> 280 lbs (Weight Watchers)

2015: 290 -> 260 lbs (Weight Watchers)

2018: 300 -> 260 lbs (CICO)

2019: 300 -> 250 lbs (CICO)

I was still on track in 2020 to lose even more weight when the pandemic hit me (and everyone else) like a truck. I became severely depressed and spent nearly every minute of the first six months of the pandemic at home, completely inactive. Now, that just explains the last cycle, what happened to the other ones? Well, as it turns out depression wasn't a new thing for the pandemic. I've been struggling with severe depression since at least 2009, as well as Bipolar II. Combined, these make it so that as soon as something even little goes wrong, I spiral into a pit of despair and give up on everything. This has been a vicious cycle that has touched (and ruined) nearly everything in my life.

So what's different now?

In 2016 I started therapy (as can be seen by the more successful 2018 and 2019 years). Furthermore, once I realized therapy wasn't going to be enough, I got on medication at the start of 2021 (Lexapro and Lamictal). And finally, after all these years, I finally feel like I might actually escape from this blackhole I've been trapped in.

What does this mean for my weight loss journey? It means that I finally have the mental tools I need to combat despair and hopelessness and finally make this work.

I would like to post weekly updates with photos here (as well as participate in some of the challenges) to keep myself honest and have a record of what I've accomplished. I'll be using CICO to lose weight (my most successful strategy so far) and trying to do cardio 5 days a week for 30 minutes, at least at first. This may not be as regular because my schedule as a full-time student who also works is quite hectic and sometimes there can be a lot to do in a given week (and I'm not super great with my time!).

Finally, for those of you who are reading this and have doubts about losing weight or going back to school or doing anything because of your age, remember this:

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!

Making changes is very hard, and if the resources aren't available, it can be impossible. But if you do have the resources and the time, it's never too late to start improving your life, regardless of how trapped you feel. Always believe you can do it, and that you can overcome any obstacles in your way.

Now, my initial picture (please be gentle):

Photos

Good luck to everyone trying to lose, and I'll be back next week with an update (possibly in the update thread).

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