okay i always knew i was overweight… like obviously from looking at myself in the mirror that was no secret. i am currently 5ft 5, 225lbs (21f). i had my first appointment at the weight loss clinic today and the doctor rated me as class 2 obesity. now hearing those words come out of her mouth was a little bit of a shocker. i always assumed i was overweight. never that i was obese. i always assumed “obese” to only mean morbidly obese. i think it was a label i was secretly running from because i did not want to face the facts. well here we are. the doctors goal weight for me is 150lbs, but i personally do not want to go below 165lbs. i have this fear of being skinny, i like my big boobs, big ass, thick thighs, and i absolutely do not want those to go away. i also struggle with eating healthy foods and finding time for the gym. the doctor said my diet will need to change to mostly protein and fats for every meal, staying away from carbs and starches. i struggle with binge eating disorder and hearing that sent me into an almost emotional downhill spiral thinking about the fact that i will never be able to eat pasta or bread again. i know that’s not actually the case but she talked about substitutions instead of portion control and that made me really fucking sad because i felt like i was gonna miss out on all those good flavors that i like so much. i know i feel like such a fatass crying over food. she also talked about how i drink a lot of sugary drinks and basically just said i have to force myself to drink less sugary drinks that i don’t like and eventually i will like them. that fucking sucks. made me so sad. made me not want to eat because it just reminds me how much i am not allowed to eat and enjoy food. she told me i need to get cooking in the kitchen more and expand my taste buds but i have never been one to cook and still live at home so am not the one who buys the groceries. i suppose it could be possible where i start to cook for myself but i have so much on my plate right now i feel like i do not have time to make this a priority. the recipes i find that sound appetizing take 2-3 hours and i don’t have that kind of time. i also get too sick of foods too easily to meal prep something and eat it 5 days in a row. i could do maybe 3 at max. i want this for myself. i want to have a flat stomach and be skinnier so i can wear the clothes that i want and go on hikes with my friends. but today was a fucking lot.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3kPund9
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