I struggled with a binge eating disorder since I was 15 (now 21F) so my weight would fluctuate a lot. At the beginning of the year, I broke down and had never binged so much which made me go up to 70 kg (154lbs). I thought I was meant to struggle with it for the rest of my life and cried almost every day. Weirdly enough, I no longer have any urges to binge because I learned to listen to what my body needs and have been steadily losing, now sitting at 63kg (139lbs), 5’5, 24% b.f. for reference. My goal is to get to 20-21% b.f.
But there are times I’d want to speed up my weight loss so I would increase my deficit and exercise. Then, I find my body refuses to let go of any weight, sometimes I even gain. Energy levels and mood shoot down… It feels like a slippery slope.
I don’t know if it happens to anyone else. It’s frustrating, but I need to remind myself that this journey is about gaining trust with my body. I fought with it for too long. If it wants to go slow and steady, then I’ll take this time to learn to love it where it is at.
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