Friday, April 24, 2020

I'm done with being this big, but my body and my mind are constantly saying otherwise.

For most of my life, ever since I was 12 years old and we transitioned into a more sedentary lifestyle, I've always been, well, a lot bigger than i should. For the last few years I've been staying in between 275 and 315 and it's constantly fluctuated up and down depending on where I've worked and how intense it's been. But as of this morning, I checked my weight, and the scale has shown me at a staggering 328 pounds, and I'm so honestly ashamed of myself I just want to curl up in a ball. I have never been this big in the 27 years I've been alive, and this is honestly the most frustrating thing I've ever experienced. I think about weight loss all the time, and I research everything I can about it, but I constantly find myself snacking on everything in my apartment, ordering DoorDash and just reaching for everything that I can all the time. I have no self control and I hate myself constantly for that. I am completely aware of the destructive nature of these choices and yet I can't seem to stop at all. I don't know what to do, and I'm reaching out to someone out there, anyone, who can possibly help me out. I want to change myself, but I'm so engrossed in my own habits and self satiation, I feel like a junkie, and I feel like this is the lowest I've been in a very, very long time.

submitted by /u/GreezyBoBreezy
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2zqdZdP

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