Hello there! I’ve been dealing with weight loss and gain all my life and it led to some very unhealthy eating habits. I got to 270 pounds, went down to 150 but got a huge eating disorder along the way. Lots of starvation and binge eating/purging. I got over my eating disorder, got into a relationship with someone who shows affection through buying food, and got up to 230. I reached that number around November last year and by February or early March I got down to 208. I was doing really well counting calories and going to the gym 4 times a week. However ever since the current world issues have hit, I’ve been extremely anxious and have no motivation to workout at home. I ended up gaining about 3 pounds and immediately restricted my eating.
Im now eating only once or twice a day and lost about a pound. But I know this isn’t healthy and that I’m going to binge eventually. I also fainted yesterday for the first time since my ed was full blown. To make matters worse I woke up this morning and felt I was making progress, like the fainting was validating. I also felt I look thinner.
I’m having a really hard time tackling this mentally because I know my thinking and actions are not healthy. I have lifelong health problems from my eating disorder damaging my insides(particularly from the purging), and don’t want to make them worse. But sometimes it really feels like being thin is the only thing that matters. Idk any help is appreciated right now.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3emy6d3
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