I have been trying to loose weight since I was 10 years old. I remember it all started in year 5 when we had to be weighed in the library (weird place I know) and that was sent to our parents blah blah blah blah. They had the screen facing away from you but from the angel you were stood at it wasn’t hard to see if you stretched a bit. I remember everyone comparing their weights saying they were 6 stone, 5 stone etc and I got so much anxiety. So it got to my turn and I stepped on the scale.... 8 stone. Normally 5’3 and 8 stone (112 ish lbs) is perfectly healthy, but not to my naive 10 year old mind. After all, everyone else’s numbers were lower than mine! So that’s when the unhealthy weight loss started but naturally it has the opposite effect and I got up to 144lbs by the end of year 6. The summer between year 6 and year 7 was focussed on loosing weight and I did. My family members talked behind my back even though I could hear, my mum gossiped about how little I ate to family members and everytime I ate at family events or around family members who had come to tea I would get “oh so you’re eating again now! That’s great” “so glad to see you’re eating again” “are you going to eat a bit more?”. After I lost the weight I stopped worrying for a bit and then my friends often went to the supermarket before school to buy food. I was hesitant at first but soon joined in and alas the binge eating came. I was buying so much crap before school and eating it and didn’t even notice what it was doing! By year 9 I was 166lbs and decided to loose weight again but again I gained instead. I’m 16 now and for the past 6 years my life has been centred around loosing weight and the scale. I feel that the scale is my downfall and looking at it everyday is doing me no good at all. Starting tomorrow I am going a month scale free to see how much weight I can loose when I am not stressing. I’m 5’6 now and around 180lbs which is horrifying for me but I will work hard this month to (healthily) loose weight and on the 9th of May I shall check back in with an update. Wish me luck! And sorry for the long back story but it felt good to get off my chest.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2URv74t
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