Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Struggling with guilt after eating

I’m sorry if this is the wrong place to post, and I will be discussing disordered eating a bit if that is a trigger for anyone, but I’m having a really hard time on my weight loss journey. I’ve lost 15 pounds since the first of the year, going from 210 to 195, but I’ve been stuck around 195 for a month now. I was always much smaller and I really gained a lot of weight last summer from going from extremely active in my job to taking a job where I sit in front of a computer all day. I’ve had a history of binging and purging on and off for 5 years. Most of the time I’m okay, but when my weight gets stagnant like this, I begin to feel horrible guilt after eating dinner and feel the absolute need to throw up. I know how unsafe and unhealthy this is. I don’t want to feel this way. I feel myself getting more discouraged and closer to giving back into this feeling. If anyone has any tips for me or words of encouragement I would appreciate it so much. This feeling is consuming my whole life.

A typical day for me is waking up, drinking a protein shake, working out for around an hour to an hour and a half, eating a healthy lunch mostly consisting of fruits and vegetables, going on a walk, usually eating a moderately healthy dinner, and sometimes going on an evening walk. My morning workouts usually burn 700-800 calories. I just recently amped up my workouts from a half hour to over an hour to see if that is what was hurting my weight loss. I try to eat between 1200-1500 calories daily, but a lot of days my brain tells me this is way too much and I feel horrible guilt.

Any advice would be so helpful. Any tips for when you start to feel discouraged. I don’t want to sink back into my old ways. I want to be able to say I lost this weight the healthy way.

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