Female, 29, 5'7, highest weight 337, current weight 325, goal weight for now is 299, ultimate goal weight is between 180-200.
Morning y'all. This post is a difficult one to make. I'm on the edge of 30 and firmly on the wrong side of 300 lbs. I have struggled with weight my entire life - literally, when I was born my aunt told my mom she shouldn't breastfeed me so much because of my "chunky" thighs. I was put on my first diet at 9 years old. Around age 11-12, that same aunt would feed me half-portions of dinner then make me swim for at least an hour to burn it off. In high school I was in marching band, which is very physical, and would restrict myself to a single piece of fruit all day. Suffice it to say I have never had a healthy relationship with my body or weight loss. Ironically, when I finally told my doctor about my severe restrictions, he callously told me, "well, you're too overweight to be diagnosed with an eating disorder".
Now I'm at a crossroads. I started binge eating in my early 20s to cope with stress after my mom was diagnosed with brain cancer and I had to move back home to take care of her. Mom's okay now, thank goodness, but I'm still dealing with the aftermath of my choices. I gained over 100 pounds due to eating mostly fast food, and a lovely combination of depression, anxiety, and just general I-don't-wannas kept me from exercising. I know what needs to be done - CICO, food scale, etc. - because I've done it before. I HAVE tried to lose weight, but it's never stuck. I've always fallen back into my binge eating ways.
My husband and I have been married almost 3 years and we want to start a family; however, I am so overweight that I fear a healthy pregnancy would be unlikely. As I'm nearing 30, that fear is compounded. I know it will take quite some time to lose what I need to lose. I know it will also take time to establish a HEALTHY relationship with weight loss. So here's to Day One, again. Any inspiration, tips, tricks, helpful hints, memes, cat photos, or encouragement are always welcome.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2EoVvgB
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