Wife wants to lose weight after I lost 150 lbs, but hasn't put in too much effort and is extremely frustrated.

My wife and I were both athletes in a division one college. Back then we were in great shape. Now we are in our mid 30s with sedentary jobs but eat as if we are athletes. I was 200 lbs overweight. After a physical my doctor (who is amazing) sat me down and told me due to my other health conditions, if I didn't lose the weight I might not see the next 10 years. Over the next year and a half I tracked my calories, stopped eating when I hit my limit, and set up a home gym in my basement and worked out every day. I'm now 150 lbs down, have noticeable muscle, and am obviously smaller. I still have 50 lbs to go.

My wife during that time went to get her PhD to follow her dream, I obviously support this and have been working out while she studies or is at school. She has gained an extra 50 lbs and is 100+ pounds overweight. I have never made her feel less beautiful or told her she needs to lose weight because I feel like if someone besides a doctor told me that I would depression eat. She noticed my weight loss and last month she wanted to do it with me.

Right off the bat she said she wasn't going to count calories or stop eating what she loves, she was just going to eat healthier and work out. That's ok, its a marathon not a sprint. While she has started eating veggies, she eats them covered in dressing. She also has added those vegies but hasn't removed anything. I haven't said anything to her about this because this is obviously important to her and I don't want her to get frustrated and give up. However she is going on frustrated rants saying it must be in my genetics to lose weight and not hers, and that it wasn't fair that I "got to" lose weight and she didn't. She hasn't wanted to be intimate with me in any way since she started, which is fine, I get she doesn't feel great right now, but how can I help? I tell her how beautiful she is all the time. I tell her we can accomplish anything together, but she is getting more and more depressed and doesn't want to see a therapist. I just want her to be happy and don't know where to start. I almost regret losing weight now.

submitted by /u/Tyrhinosaurus1229
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