My 10th Day 1.

Hey, all.

I’ve been here before. New username, same old me. I know HOW to lose weight, I just struggle to find the motivation or inspiration. The truth is, I never really cared about my weight because I had other things going on in my life to worry about.

I‘m 31/M, 5’6, 225 pounds, though at my highest I was pushing 250. I have always been above average for my age, and I have had a potbelly since I was a little kid (I’m told this is a sign of something, but idk). My mom shows affection through food, and that’s really her only way of showing affection, so I have a pretty unhealthy relationship with food to say the least.

Almost exactly a year ago, I had a major life-changing surgery that corrected over a decade of pain. I dropped 10 pounds right off the bat. Now, I’ve ruined that progress and gained a bit more back. For the first time in my life, I have high blood pressure, my cholesterol is a bit high (despite being a vegetarian for over 15 years), and I‘m beginning to develop sleep apnea. I’m tired and depressed every waking moment. Somehow I’m not yet pre-diabetic, despite diabetes being incredibly common in my family. I guess that’s a win.

I’ve done the calorie counting, without success. It just made me mad, legitimately mad. I hate tracking my food or calories. I hate spending time logging information into the app. I’ve done keto, which is so freaking hard as a vegetarian. I’ve done intermittent fasting, on which I saw the most success, though it becomes nearly impossible to hold the same schedule every day.

I looked at my TDEE again, and I was reminded that my weight loss does not have to feel impossible. My BMR is estimated to be about 1900. I can do that. That is not impossible.

My initial goals are easy ones: drink enough water every day (aiming for 2L/day), and just pay attention to what I’m eating and WHY. I eat out of boredom, and that needs to end.

I don’t know. I’m mad at myself today. But I’m trying to turn it into motivation. I can do better. This shouldn’t be this hard. I have dealt with worse.

Here we go.

Ryan.

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