So I've always been a bigger guy, but about three years ago I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. At 5 foot 10 and 115kg (253lb), being overweight did a toll to not only my self-esteem but also to my overall mental health. So I decided to try and do something about it.
Over the years I have had multiple Weight loss goals.
"when I reach 100kg I'll be happy".
When I reached that goal, I would not feel like I achieved something, but felt like my goal wasn't good enough. My weight would fluctuate until I hit a point where I'll look myself in the mirror again, feel that same feeling that I did originally, self-hate towards my body, and work towards a different goal.
"If I hit 90kg I'll be happy".
It took me a while to reach 90kg, about October last year. When I reached the goal, I still don't feel as much satisfaction as I think I should feel, if that makes sense. The people around me are very supportive, proud, and complimentary, which increases my morale, but inside I still criticize how I look.
Currently I'm at the "if I get to 80kg I'll be happy" and am at 85kg at the moment, but I'm afraid that it'll just be another pattern where I'll next want to go for 70kg, and I think that'd be croaching into an unhealthy weight area for my build.
I decided to post here to see if anyone has had any similar experiences, and was wondering if there was any advice towards this kind of body dysmorphia, I would like to look at myself in the mirror and be truly proud of myself.
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