TL;DR - I (39/F) have been struggling with almost constant pain for six months. My weight didn't make this happen, but it is not helping me heal. I cannot continue like this, or things are going to get real dark. There are some mental/emotional hurdles too...I won't dive into those as much. If anyone has stories related to weight loss and chronic pain or injury pain recovery, I'd love to hear from you.
I'll try to keep a very long story as short as I can. Back in February I tore two muscles in my right leg. I missed a few weeks of work, had a couple weeks of very painful muscle spasms constantly until got so sick with pain I went to urgent care. More spasms, got into physical therapy. Lots of stretches, dry needling and massage ensued. Lots of fluid on my leg, fatigue, needing to elevate it. So much pain and exhaustion. Compression socks helped a lot.
Around April/May my right leg was getting better and my left heel started to hurt. This turned into calf pain too. I'm talking like just short of vomiting levels of pain. We did PT/massage for that. Ruled out plantar fasciitis, checked nutrients. It continued to get worse. Lots of time spent lying around in pain, but still tried to do my exercises, stretches, go for short walks/bike rides. Mid July left leg pain got much worse and made me even more physically ill. Referred to orthopedics. Xrays, EMG (neurologist - nerve and muscle communication testing) and finally an MRI. Some suggested the issue was related to my back somehow. All tests were relatively normal - no pinched nerves, no slipped disks (thankfully!!), but still the pain is so awful I need steroids/ muscle relaxers or relaxers/pain reliever to tame it. The pain moved out of my leg to my lower back. I am so very very tired. I can't really drive without flaring up, I can't sit. I haven't sat for any length of time in months. I don't work summers. I am terrified I am not ready to go back to work because the fatigue creeps up and then takes over hard and fast. If I push too hard I'm down for 1-2 days. I hesitate sometimes because I'm scared I will wreck something inside me again. My doctor said today that my back muscles are "very angry" and I need to work through some of this with support.
I am overweight, I was before my injury. Probably 80-90 lbs could go. I'm 5'8" so I can pack on quite a bit before it gets really noticeable. I had been active. Before I tore my leg up I was spinning a lot and doing yoga regularly. Maybe that led to my injury, we don't know. I've uttered the words, "I can see how people could get hooked on pain medication". I have family that have struggled with addiction. That road is not okay for me. I've consumed so many f-ing pills. So much CBD to try to get my anxiety under control. I woke up last night in a panic because my muscles had tightened so much in my sleep.
Mental/emotional: I eat when stressed. I eat my emotions. I have some body issues but my self esteem had improved steadily through my 30s. I've just had some incidents... when my weight goes down, men harass me more and touch me in unwanted ways. I've been grabbed in public and sexually harassed which led to me losing a job. It makes me ill to think about weighing less and being harassed again.
Still, this isn't the body I imagine myself in. I remember myself more lean. My plan involves CICO and whatever my PT and doctor allow. CICO has been good to me before. I want the first major milestone to be losing at least 40 lbs by my 40th birthday. This is very attainable, it is about 7 months away. I am so tired of the pain and I feel like losing some weight will help my body heal faster and better. I feel like it is a way to be more kind to my poor battered muscles. I feel like if I don't lose some weight and gain some strength this pain will haunt me for much much longer. I am lucky I got away with no life altering/surgical issues found so far. I need to show my body I am grateful by taking better care of it.
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