I guess I'm... confused on how losing works?

Hello, I am a 6'3 311lb guy with a body type that is just naturally heavy, large, and muscular. However, I do have quite a bit of fat that I am looking to get rid of. I am healthy otherwise, I can function normally and have no weight-related diseases. I have a long history of swimming for sport, and weight lifting as well. I recently signed up for a gym, and have already gotten into the habit of going consistently. I practice competitive swimming for an hour, 4 days a week, and do strength training 2 days a week. That sounds good for me, but I am concerned about my food intake.

I have a very high protein diet, decently high carb intake, and I drink a ton of water. I use MyFitnessPal and only eat roughly 1500-1700 calories a day through 3 meals. And I never feel like I under eat. Most of the stuff I eat composes of fruits, meats, cheeses, eggs, and bread. Almost everything is homemade. I get 8hrs of sleep every night and go to the gym at the same time every day.

With all this, I feel like I am lacking somewhere that is preventing me from losing weight. I understand that in order to lose weight I need to meet a caloric deficit, but I didn't quite understand how those work. That can't mean I need to work out enough to lose more calories than I intake, right? That sounds vastly more difficult and unhealthy than it probably should be. I have been attending the gym for 2 months and have not seen any change in my body or weight. I understand that muscle weighs more than fat, so the lack of weight loss makes sense at the moment. However, I still don't see a change in my body.

So, I need to ask:

Do I need to overhaul my diet? Am I not eating enough? Eating too much? Is my workout plan a sham? Do I need to burn more calories? Do I just need to give it more time? I do not know what is missing from my life atm that should prevent me from losing weight properly. Any insight would be very much appreciated. Thank you!

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Instant regret in telling my mom about my weight loss goals

I've so far lost like 8 pounds and considering I've only been at this for a few weeks, I'm feeling pretty great about myself! But, that being said, I've really only been talking to two of my friends about how ultimately I'm making a focused effort to lose weight.

Last week, however, I was forced to tell my mom (who I tend to keep on an info diet anyway after some less than supportive reactions shes had). I had to tell her because my goal reward for losing 50 pounds is a breast reduction, and I had to check if that was still something she was willing to help me with, or else it cannot be my goal.

Immediately after telling her, she starts asking if I've looked into "tapping" (I havent, but from what she said it sounds like a pressure point/meditation thing to motivate you to lose weight, reduce hunger, etc. Sounds like pseudoscience and a lose weight quick scheme and I'd rather just stick with my lifestyle changes). I listened without giving much input and said I'd look into it, not at all intending to do that.

This week I pick her up and she starts commenting on my weight loss. "You can really tell in your face!" And "have you been keeping your step count up?" I'm not working on my step count yet, I'm doing baby steps and altering my diet first. I told her as much. "Well you can really tell you've lost weight!"

And on one hand, it was really nice of her to compliment me on my hard work. On the other hand, though, this is why I didnt want to tell her. Obviously people will start to notice (it is already a noticeable difference) but I dont want people to think that commenting on my weight at any size is appropriate. I've been obsessing over the face comment and now need to make a concentrated effort to keep my calories low, but not starvation low. I also dont want unsolicited advice. I'm figuring out what works for me, and having to deal with other peoples suggestions is not helpful, especially when they want to sell me something.

I did send her a text asking her not to tell people I'm dieting (especially because technically I'm NOT dieting, just eating until I'm satisfied rather than gorged) and she was very receptive to it, but this makes me nervous for the future. Why cant people get that this is a personal thing and none of their business? Tell me I look great and leave it at that.

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Reminder: There is no shame in starting over after regressing.

Longtime lurker, first time poster.

Over the past two and a half years I've (36M) been on a weight loss journey. My starting weight was 306 lbs and my lowest was 248 lbs. Notice I said was, because my current weight is around 260. I'll talk about that in a second.

My journey began with me just being sick and tired of feeling terrible about myself and being out of breath all the time. And my profession is such that I'm in front of people speaking all the time. So I was always self-conscious about my weight and wondering what people were thinking about the fat guy on stage.

So one day I said enough is enough. I started counting my calories, making healthier food choices, and most importantly for me, I started the Couch to 5k program C25K INFO Week 1 Day 1, I could barely jog 60 seconds. It sucked, but it also felt great. Over the following months I ended up finishing the program and moving on from 5k to 10k. I was a running fool. And I dropped a ton of weight pretty quick - not quite 60 lbs. I found that my running made me want to eat healthier. And I found that the food I ate dramatically affected my runs.

And my peak I was jogging about an hour without stopping. An hour, WTF. I was a bit obsessed - so I cut back and just started jogging a few 5k's a week around my neighborhood or on a treadmill.

But over the past few months I've regressed significantly and have gained a bit of weight, 12 lbs. I've stopped counting calories and running has become less frequent.

One of the most difficult things I've had to do has been to admit to myself that I am not where I was a few months back, and that's OK.

Because if you're anything like me, those type of thoughts become the reason why I wouldn't exercise. It's depressing to realize that I've lost ground. That I've gained weight. That I can't run as far. And to start back up would be to remind myself of that fact every time I step on the scale or am out of breath after a few minutes of jogging.

But last week I said screw it. I started C25K back up. Yes, I'm had start back on Week 3. No, I can't run a 5k right now. Yes, I'm fatter and running is more difficult. But if I let that because the excuse as to why I won't run now, that would be the ultimate failure.

Anyway, I'm writing to remind myself and perhaps encourage you if you've regressed. Don't let that be the reason that you don't start from where you're at and continue on the journey.

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Maintenance Monday: The Weight Trap

The main challenge of obesity treatment is not weight loss, but long-term weight loss maintenance. ¹

Oh, that sounds daunting to begin today's thread with. I don't mean to be so glass-half-empty, I'm sorry. But in the past I've been reading up on the particular challenges of maintenance, so I can recognize them when I eventually come across them.

So, what are your biggest traps? I'm a Slight Slacker myself - I'll forget to log just this one cookie, or won't be in the mood to weight that mayonnaise - this is what 15g looks like right?, and damnit I've earned the non-diet gouda just this once. I'm not prone to go on a big binge, but I'm definitely able to graze my way to obesity. So that's a trap I have to look out for.

Anyway, enough about me, how about yous? What's your Maintenance Trap?

But first, let's fill our glass up again:

long-term weight loss is possible¹

There. That's that over and done with.

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Anything else on your mind pertaining maintenance? Is your diet going effortlessly, or have the last few weeks been more of a struggle? All questions, remarks and worries are welcome topics of conversation!

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1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4777230/

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What interesting things have you learned about yourself (psychologically, physically, addiction-wise) since starting this weight loss experiment?

Personally I've learned quite a bit. One great insight was that my alcohol consumption was easy to control by way of abstinence. Nicotine was the same way. I learned that I overindulge in those things but it is not difficult to stop if done cold turkey (that was a welcome surprise because I really had worried about my relationship with alcohol). For some reason I thought I was far more reliant on alcohol than I actually was (after a 13 year relationship with beer, ugh, would have helped to have a little bravery a decade ago but I digress). I realized my relationship with food simply needed structure. I never developed any truly unhealthy habits with food I just did not structure things properly and would eat willy nilly. I'm sure there is a ton that is not coming to me at the moment but it has been a great learning experience.

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I can finally fit into my favourite jeans again!!

I always tend to buy second hand/vintage jeans because they fit my body type better and last a lot longer than jeans I buy from stores nowadays. Last year I bought this pair of jeans vintage from the 80s that used to fit me so well. I got really really upset when I tried them on a couple months ago and I found out that I couldn't even button them up anymore.

Well last night I decided to try them on again, fully expecting them to still not fit at all. I didn't think that I lost any weight and I was prepared to be sad and disappointed and frustrated all over again. But surprisingly they fit me again! I'm so happy and this subreddit has helped me continue to have the motivation to lose weight and get in shape :)

I've been counting calories and working out 4 days a week for about a half a month now and honestly I wasn't expecting results just yet. I just wanted to say thank-you to everyone who shares their NSVs and I wanted to share mine. If anyone is starting their weight loss journey I hope that this gives you a little motivation to stick with it, because even if you think nothing is changing I guarantee you that something has and you just haven't noticed it yet.

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Is your mind fit enough weight loss?

I saw a thread about depression and motivation for weight loss and it made me think about my progress so far.

It is said that exercising has positive effects on mental health, and I won’t deny that since the best high I ever got was after a good exercise. But offering an easy answer for a complicated problem such as depression and other mental illnesses (which may sometimes present themselves simultaneously) isn’t a fix. I was fooled into falling for easy fixes for a decade but on the other hand trying and failing helped me to learn more about myself and which principles apply on my personal weight loss progress.

That’s the most essential thing about weight loss, personalization. Diets and exercise programs are nothing but tools, but the machine to put all that into work is the mind which should first undergo weight loss before anything.

For example; I don’t know how the gym classes are in other countries, but where I come from the gym classes were just humiliating competitions for those who weren’t as good at sports in general. Lucky for me, I was a bit over average and I thrived especially in team sports, so I never disliked exercising. Maybe I just had bad teachers, because only yesterday I learned the proper breathing technique for running or this is just common knowledge which I missed for 30 years.

Imagine being one of these kids who weren’t taught anything relevant so exercising would be more pleasant, getting rather anxious because of all those bad memories and discomfort caused by it. Not to mention if you were a fat kid and got discouraged by assholes who made fun of your attempts to get in better shape.

Now, combine all that with an apathetic feeling, a little voice inside your head telling everything you do is pointless, nothing will bring you happiness and the world would be better off without you. Hitting the bottom where you don’t even bother showering or eating and you’re fatigued constantly even though you’re not exactly doing anything.

How is it exactly going to help having someone telling you to go out and exercise because surely you’ll feel better after that? You might accept the challenge just to prove them wrong. And it’s very likely that you will prove them wrong, because for someone who’s been depressed for a long time, you’d lack the energy and strength to enjoy the exercise, especially if it’s tied to unpleasant memories of it.

I read a book about binge eating couple of years ago and even though I can’t say it helped me with my issue, it did give some food for thought, an insight for the underlying cause of my overeating. I was an emotional eater and it was always a vicious cycle of seeking for comfort through stuffing my face with food which resulted in guilt and shame, which gave a head start for the new round. The book gave me perhaps the best advice yet in order to solve this problem, I had to learn a way to cope with my emotional distress in another way.

After I went through a series of psychological tests, a psychoanalysis and got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), my psychiatrist recommended Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I never thought CBT as a solution for emotional eating since I prioritized other issues over that, but after awhile I felt less anxious and right now I don’t remember when was the last time I was as depressed as I was years ago. As a side effect I developed a healthier relationship with food.

So far in a half year I’ve lost over 30 kg and regained mobility to enjoy pushing my limits through exercising. There were no special tricks to it, just sticking with the healthier habits I had hard time keeping up before and not getting discouraged by “slip ups”, in fact I even allow myself giving into cravings around the time I’m PMSing (I discovered this late, that PMS could cause cravings). But most importantly, taking care of my mind through healthier ways of dealing with the rollercoaster that is my emotional life.

Just food for thought, think carefully how you want to encourage someone who deals with complex problems, offering easy answers for them could be just counterproductive.

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