I’m a long time member, consistently encouraged and inspired by the successes of the amazing people on this site. I’m sharing my story (so far, as the journey isn’t over!) in hopes that I might encourage even one other person to take the necessary steps to become healthier and regain control of their life. If I can do this, I believe that anyone reading this post can as well! For me it has been one year, minus two days, and I’ve lost exactly 150 lbs.
Weight has always been a struggle for me. I was the chubby kid that never really lost the baby fat. As a teenager I slimmed out for a time while pursuing interests like cheerleading, but didn’t know how to maintain a healthy lifestyle. My family was financially poor and we ate as such - lots of pasta (it’s cheap and goes far) and managed to keep my weight in check by terribly unhealthy means. As a young adult, I didn’t do much better. I had never adopted healthy eating habits and as a “starving” tech-school student and later young professional, my weight yo-yo’d. Luckily, my overall health was good and my weight, while not ideal, was manageable.
I married in my late 20’s, following my first of six miscarriages just three weeks before my wedding date. To say I was devastated would be a complete understatement. While many brides are focused on specific details of their special day, I was falling into a depression that left me broken. On one hand I was over the moon to marry the man I had waited a lifetime to find, and on the other, I was shattered at the loss of our unplanned, but very much wanted and loved child-to-be.
I don’t know if it’s better labeled “comfort eating” or simply becoming unmindful of poor choices when faced with difficult situations, but my weight started to rise. Over the next decade, my husband and I were fortunate enough to have a total of three amazing, beautiful children, but had five additional losses along the way. My weight continued to yo-yo, and while I gained control on two separate occasions, I’ve felt that with each loss of a pregnancy, I gained more weight.
Our youngest baby just turned five. He’s amazing - smart, lively, funny - the list goes on, and I am so very grateful to have him! However, my bad habits had taken hold of me and while I truly didn’t recognize what I was doing to myself, the weight continued to climb. Feeling that my family was complete, I was enjoying things like baking, decorating birthday cakes, and becoming the “neighborhood mom” that always had extras for anyone who wanted to stay for dinner.
I was in complete denial. I had gained an astonishing amount of weight, especially for my 5’ 2” frame. I refused to step on a scale or see a doctor for any reason. While I didn’t want to admit it, I was terrified of seeing how much weight I’d gained, and by simply avoiding it, I was able to convince myself it wasn’t as bad as I’d feared. Of course avoiding anything doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, and the day eventually came that I had to see a doctor. I refused to look at the scale and even asked the nurse to not state the number out loud. I managed to continue avoiding my reality, which only allowed the weight to rise even further.
Fast forward to 1.5 years ago. I had become quite the recluse, and convinced myself I loved it that way. Because I was a stay at home mom, I bought inexpensive clothes, and not because I liked them, but because I could get them on. If I could make it fit, I’d simply get it in several colors and make due for the season. It was getting hard to do activities with my kids - walking through the zoo left me uncomfortably winded and I knew I exceeded the weight limit for water slides or horseback riding. I realized I was watching my children grow up, but wasn’t participating in it. The memories being made didn’t include me - I was merely the chauffeur and the photographer.
Around that time I was completing a set of medical tests, as my menstrual period had disappeared for no apparent reason in the year prior and bloodwork had shown that I had not “had the change” earlier than expected. When my testing came back, it showed an overall unhealthy adult, with numbers all over the board. My physician asked if I had ever considered weight loss surgery, to which I shut her down as I was scared and uninterested. She is a fabulous physician, and had a conversation with me as a concerned, fellow human being, without judgement or criticism. For me, that was what it took .... she gave me her attention, answered my questions, and offered encouragement. That day I made the choice that things were going to change.
It started simple. I counted calories and used online tools to guesstimate what my gain vs maintain vs lose caloric intake would be. I made the choice to cook “clean” and purge the foods that would only add to my demise from my home. My family didn’t know it, but they were all along for the ride. I educated myself on basic nutrition, metabolism, and how to properly balance my intake. As the days turned to weeks and later to months, it became easier and my appetite substantially decreased. Without aiming to do so, I fell into a hybrid of OMAD and CICO. Once I was feeding my body what it NEEDED, I realized that I didn’t like feeling full, and that I seldom craved anything other than my preplanned meal.
I continue to learn, and I still have a long way to go. I wanted so badly to reach “1-derland” by my official one year anniversary, and because of a natural plateau it doesn’t look like I will. BUT .... I am choosing to be proud of my accomplishment and excited to see where I’m at a year from today!
I don’t have a specific goal weight. While everyone does it differently, I have decided this for myself .... I am going to be healthy. I will be mindful of calories in vs out, but am not a slave to tracking. I like food, so I load up on veggies and lean protein first, with healthy, fiber-rich carbs available at each meal. If I am craving a sweet or treat, I allow it to myself, but practice moderation. I started walking about six months ago. While life happens and I can’t guarantee that I won’t miss a day here or there, I’ve learned that I love my daily walks. I usually go for 3-4 miles at a time, and use it as my time to reset for the day ahead. It might sound “cheesy” or too simple, but I’ve 100% adopted a new lifestyle. I’ve educated myself on healthy eating and balance, and am going to trust that my body will adjust as necessary along the way. Eventually I’ll hit my goal weight, whatever it may be, and it will be in balance with the lifestyle I’ve chosen to live.
I’ve shared my very personal story, knowing that you have a unique story of your own. Please know that no matter what your starting point, and where you hope to land, it’s achievable. Be gentle on yourself for past mistakes, and look ahead with confidence that many small steps make huge strides. It’s great to celebrate the milestones along the way, and be proud of each step closer to your goal.
Here’s a list of several things that I’ve found to be life-changing with the weight I’ve lost for far!
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Energy level is so much higher! No more wanting to sleep all day, or catch a 10 minute nap anywhere possible.
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Walks have allowed personal reset time, and/or great time to talk one-on-one with husband or kids.
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Buying clothes because they’re “cute” rather than because they fit, is a whole new experience.
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Personal hygiene is so much easier to maintain. It’s embarrassing to admit, but hygiene is difficult when morbidly obese.
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Sex is completely different - for the better! Between having a smaller frame and feeling more comfortable, it isn’t comparable.
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No more worries about whether the chair at the dentist or waiting room will support my weight. I can sit comfortably, with room to spare on the sides!
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And the best of all .... for the first time EVER, I’ve had the joy of belly laughing with each one of my kids while we jump on our backyard trampoline!
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