I believe my biggest revelation of this entire journey for me has been the realization that weight issues do not run genetically in my family. As a woman, I do have PCOS. Hormonal imbalance and insulin resistance did aid in my weight gain and inability to lose it, that is true.. but I used to use that as a crutch. It was the sole reason I was overweight and nobody could tell me different.. that is, until I lost the weight.
Much of my mother’s side of the family is overweight or morbidly obese. I was one of my mothers two children that suffered the blow of this generational curse. My family LOVES food. We love to cook. We love the hospitality part of it. We love caring for others. We live for the compliments on our prepared foods or recipes. It’s a passion of many family members of mine, including myself.. but our speciality? Is down home, country cooking. Butter for days. Potatoes and pasta for days. Fried food galore. Massive portion sizes because this was a labor of love. And our dependence. Oh, man.
Several of my family members use food as a source of comfort. Two years into this and about half way through I had accepted I have a food addiction. Food is my happy place. It gives me comfort when I stuff myself full. My mom taught me these tendencies, even though she may not have known it. We both have had a weight loss journey. Each of us losing over 130 lbs. we understand what has happened here now.
Generations of poor eating habits. Generations of dependence on food and poor coping mechanisms. Mental health issues that were never dealt with properly. It all adds up now. I wasn’t fat because of my genetics, but because of my family’s eating habits that have persisted for decades and generations.. but this ends with me.
I will not suffer or limit my own life because I cannot find self control. I will not implement poor eating habits into my future children’s lives. They will understand the importance of nutrition and a balanced diet. I can’t continue this kind of generational suffering. I won’t have it and I’m so glad to have come to this realization. It’s a hard pill to swallow and it’s sometimes hard not to feel bitter about it, but my mom knows this suffering. She didn’t mean to continue the line of negligence and neglect, but it happened, and it has to stop somewhere.
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