I thought I'd solve my mental health problems by losing weight. I've learned through my many failures that at least for me, weight loss came much easier after putting my brain first and body second.

Well kids, this year has been a rough one in more ways than one for me on a personal level. But look! Progress!!

And that progress wouldn't exist if I hadn't started taking antidepressants and speaking with a therapist.

While not the root of or the worst of my problems, I've got some pretty bad body image issues. Even though objectively I know I've lost weight-- the scale and my measurements speak for themselves-- when I look at those photographs some days they look the same to me, even though the scale and my measurements say otherwise. But I'm learning not to do that. Progress is progress, and my scale isn't lying to me!

Last summer I hit the highest weight I've ever been. I'm pretty sure at one point I was over 200, but I was too afraid to weigh myself and find out. And more important than just the weight, my mind was essentially broken. I was truly unhappy, and I was taking it out on others. I was cruel to my ex boyfriend- I also have an ex boyfriend, which should speak for itself. I concocted wild ideas to try to "fix" my depression by making drastic life changes that didn't pan out. I could hardly function at work or in my personal life. I'd be really great at diet or exercise for like a week or two and then I'd go back to being a couch potato.

In short, I was a mess. I was also deeply unhappy.

Most importantly and relevant to this community, the brunt of my weight loss has happened in the last 4-ish months since I've been focusing on my mental health, becaue that has lead to everything else being better and easier too. I want to work out becaue it makes my brain feel good in addition to helping me to lose weight. I'm eating healthier becaue I'm motivated to cook for myself rather than just chucking a pizza in the oven and eating the whole thing. I pay attention to the calories I'm eating and I'm better at staying on track, but also at not punishing myself for going over and then eventually giving up because of my percieved failures.

I thought I'd solve my mental health problems by losing weight. I've learned through my many failures that at least for me, this was the wrong way to go about meeting my weight loss goals. Brain first, body second. I suppose this is obvious to most everyone but the severely depressed like me. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I'm glad I'm here. I'm only about 15 pounds away from my goal weight, and I get the feeling that this time I'll make it there.

submitted by /u/MentalDinner
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