Is obese spouse trying to sabotage my weight loss efforts? I’m overweight.

Since we got married, we have both gained weight. Me about 20kg, him enough to put him in the morbidly obese range.

I feel very uncomfortable at this weight and have been unable to manage my weight like I used to when I was single. I gain weight easily and I love to eat, so I have always needed to manage it and pay attention to balancing my diet and exercise.

Of course I know I that what I eat is in my control, but being more aware of his attitude is making me wonder if he is affecting me more than I realised.

I’ve been confused about why I haven’t been able to manage my weight like I used to but I’m starting to realise his lack of support, or fake support, may be a large contributing factor.

I have started to pay attention to things he says to me regarding food and I think he may be sabotaging me, most likely unknowingly. He has very strange habits and beliefs about food and probably doesn’t know he does it.

The last two weeks I’ve been trying to eat better and he has tried to convince me to eat fast food multiple times.

On one occasion : “Let’s order a pizza.” When I declined, “you’re going to meet a friend tomorrow for lunch, it’s not like you’re going to eat healthy then. Be realistic. You know you’re going to eat badly tomorrow. Why are you trying to pretend you’re eating healthy?”

He has also commented that I’m not eating enough at night and need to eat more. ( he likes to binge eat at night, but if I wrap up my eating by 8pm I feel amazing the next morning).

“You need to have a cheat meal today.” When I said I didn’t feel like having one, he went off on a rant about what’s the point in picking a cheat day and then not doing it, it defeats the purpose of it all...yada yada yada”

If we are out and get a coffee, he’ll often ask if I want a dessert too, and when I refuse, he’ll buy one for us to share and get pissy when I don’t have any.

His whole family are obsessed with weight and dieting, at the same time they are serious food pushers. even though they are all overweight. I don’t know how I’ll handle them either.

Any strategies for dealing with this? I just want to go back to my healthy weight that I felt good at. It feels like a battle.

submitted by /u/Josie404
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