18f, 5’2”, SW: 180, GW: 130, CW: 159
I’ve been trying to lose weight for about a year now. The main reason my weight had gotten out of control was having an ACL surgery in January 2019. I was already overweight when I had the surgery, but after it I gained about 15 lbs from being inactive and eating my feelings. I had always naturally weighed more than other girls my size because I have a muscular build, but because I couldn’t work out I was losing muscle and gaining fat at a rate I hadn’t experienced yet. I could no longer blame my weight gain on my muscle. I hit the obese marker in the summer of 2019 and my doctor convinced me I really needed to change my habits. So I did.
I was trying to move at a pace of losing about 1-1.5 lbs a week & was doing great at first. I wanted to move slowly because I knew that would be the most long lasting way to do it + I’m short so I knew it was naturally going to take a while. By calorie counting and working out I lost 10 pounds over the course of 3 months. Even after only 10 lbs down I was feeling fantastic and was healthier than I had been in a while.
I was a senior in high school at the time so college applications and school itself started getting really stressful in fall/winter 2019. I didn’t have much energy to spare so I decided to take a break from restricting my diet. I planned to resume weight loss in the new year and began calorie counting again in January. I wasn’t weighing myself but I basically just maintained weight.
Then February of 2020 hit & I tore both my ACLs. I was devastated. I was thinking the cycle was going to start again & this time with two surgeries, I presumed it was going to be worse. For too many reasons to explain in this post I had to delay my surgeries a few months, so once march arrived I was in quarantine with two torn ACLs and nowhere to go. (Unrelated but woo hoo def couldn’t have asked for a better end to senior year 😑). I promised myself to not be hard on myself if I gained weight during the time as life was just a lot, so I ditched calorie counting and the scale again for my own sanity. I had my first ACL surgery in late March & the second one in late May, so by mid April I was ready to weigh myself again. I closed my eyes and braced for the worse, but once I looked I gasped bc I had lost about 2 lbs. Now I know 2lbs is not a lot, but just the fact that I didn’t gain weight was astounding to me. It reassured me that the steps I was taking to establish a healthy lifestyle really were paying off. I couldn’t run (still can’t), but I began working out in the ways my knees would allow and started up with my fitness pal once again. I got really into yoga because it was gentle on my body and gave me some peace of mind with everything going on (heavily recommend). I started losing again at the rate of -1 lb a week & have been going strong since.
When I started trying to lose weight again I was 167 lbs & all I wanted was to be in the 150s. Today I reached that point! This marker is incredibly important to me because I haven’t been below 160 since the start of high school. It’s also important because it marks me losing 20 lbs since the beginning! I’m starting to feel comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life. Although I definitely have ways to go with tackling my insecurities and there’s a ton of days where I hate myself just as much as I did when I was 180 lbs, I’ve realized that confidence doesn’t come with losing weight, it comes with taking my care of yourself. Yes, taking care of yourself can sometimes mean losing weight, but it could also mean being gracious and forgiving to yourself when you aren’t losing weight.
Also, weird bonus to losing the weight that I wonder if other people can relate to- I used to despise sitting down without a baggy shirt on because I hated seeing my stomach lay on my thighs. A few days ago I realized that although I definitely still have stomach rolls, they don’t lay on top of my thighs when I sit down unless I lean forward! Definitely wasn’t a goal of mine to reach that point but I’m glad I did because I feel more comfortable wearing tighter clothing.
Final comment: I’ve just felt so inspired by other users on this subreddit and have loved lurking in the shadows watching everyone figure out what motivates & works best for them. Much love to all of you!
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