For a few days now I've been teetering on the edge of 80 kg, and I never thought I'd get there. My highest weight was around 105 kg and honestly, for the last few years I'd pretty much accepted that was going to be my weight forever. I had convinced myself that I was fine like that, maybe not super thin, but definitely not that fat either. I was kidding myself.
One day, I looked up my BMI just to see. I assumed I would be in the overweight category, but my heart dropped when I read the number 35: firmly in the obese category. Obese. I'd never thought I'd be classified as obese. It was shocking.
This revelation came at a good time though: I'd been going to therapy for some relatively minor unresolved trauma and self esteem issues, and I'd started to take better care of myself already. I was ready to tackle the last hurdle: my horrible relationship with food. I started slowly changing my habits, planning my meals, and eating less snacks. I also stopped getting fast food completely once the pandemic hit. To stay active indoors, I looked up some home workouts. I wanted to be healthy, not necessarily thin. I wanted to take care of myself. For me. I stepped on the scale after a few weeks and saw that I'd lost almost 5 kg: nearly below 100 kg now. I wanted to get there. I kept going.
Now, around 6 months later, I'm nearly down 25 kgs and I'm amazed at how natural and easy it has been. My self esteem is through the roof and I'm starting a new job soon. I guess what I want to say is, don't give up. Don't be too focused on the end goal, but focus on improving your health and your habits. Once new healthy habits are in place, the weight loss will follow. I was kidding myself before when I thought I was happy. I was settling, I'd given up, I didn't believe I could do it. But I did. And you can too.
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