I guess I'm posting this more for myself, as I am also trying to figure things out, but I hope it can also help people / spark a different kind of conversation. Also I apologize for any inconsistencies as english is not my first language.
I have always struggled with my mindset towards weight loss, which I guess also reflects in my appearance. I've gone through phases of being at my optimal weight but starving, I've gained weight, I've lost it again, and so on. I have tried diets, I have struggled with body image, I have gone through many, many frustrations. I have gone through periods of accepting my extra weight and being "happy" with it, then going on to hate it again a few months later.
Through all of this I have tried to find a healthy mindset, a balance of accepting / loving my body but also feeling motivated enough to be my best self. It is hard because, sometimes, as awful as it sounds, most times it's that "hate" and frustration towards ourselves what motivates us enough to cut on calories and go to the gym. I am the first one to admit it has worked. But at what cost? can we actually achieve overall happiness and health if our body is there, but our mindset is not?
What I am trying to say is that maybe we should not just look for our optimal weight but also optimal mindset.
I have been actively losing weight / getting fit since january, through "clean" eating (I eat 100% plant based and I try to keep it full of fruits and veggies and healthy proteins) and actively going to the gym. It has been a slow but healthy and consistent process, with everyday getting closer to my goal (I believe I'll be reaching my GW by december). But probably the hardest part of this journey has been asking myself this question everyday: are you doing this because you love yourself, or because you hate yourself?
I do not have an answer for that yet, but I am actively trying to find the right answer with these small mindset changes:
- I am trying to do exercises I enjoy, instead of exercises I can't stand. If one day I want to go cycling, I will go cycling. If one day I only want to walk, I will just go walking. If one day I feel super pumped and want to stay 2 hours at the gym, I will do just that. Believe me when I say that doing something you actually like will leave you feeling amazing for the rest of the day, and that rush will just keep you going back to it.
- I try to give my body a break on days that I feel fatigued. The body knows when it's been overexerted and it will let you know.
- I try to incorporate meditation on days that I feel anxious / frustrated about my progress.
- I thank my body when I look in the mirror instead of hating it, because it is doing a lot by trying to keep up with my workout routine.
- I try to tune in with my hunger cues and think 2, 3 times if I really want to eat, if it is boredom / anxiety, or if my appetite is trying to tell me something about my body (the body is wise! it is hard to learn this, it takes time, but it gets better with time)
- I try to constantly learn and read about nutrition so I can understand better which foods are good for me and which foods aren't. This helps me decide better about what goes on my plate and what should only be an occasional treat. And even then, it shouldn't be a "treat" because that would mean I am not enjoying what I eat on the daily. "Treats" imply that I am restricting myself on most days. I'd rather see it as me nourishing myself everyday with foods that are delicious for me, that are good for my health and a fuel for my workouts, and if one time (or two) a week I decide to eat something that is not really that healthy and won't do much for my overall health, then so be it! it won't harm my lifestyle, because it is that 80% of the rest of my week what really counts.
And most importantly: Remind myself to love my body at my current weight, even if I don't accept it. Loving and feeling compassion towards it is not the same as accepting it, and I feel like this is where so much controversy lies nowadays. Regardless of how other people feel though, I have found that actively trying to love my body is what's helping me be consistent in my journey, which never happened before. I always lost the weight, then gained it again. But something as simple as feeling compassion for myself has helped me really stick to it.
I go to the gym because it makes my body healthy, because I enjoy moving, because cardiovascular health is important. It is not a punishment. I eat healthy because it gives my body fuel, because it protects my organs, and I can tell that it's thanking me for it by giving me more energy and allowing me to do more during my workouts. And hey, if you also have aesthetic purposes (like showing more muscle) why not? if it comes from a place of love and excitement and it is a result from an activity you genuinely enjoy, the mind will not suffer.
I am not saying I'm 100% there, but I feel like at least trying to have a healthy mindset is already doing so much for me, which is why I wanted to share. It's important to realize that weight loss journeys should be a lifestyle change for a better overall health, and that includes the mind as well.
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