Having tortured my body for years, I decided that at the age of 25 I no longer have an excuse to starve my body or push it to its limits in terms of binge eating. I have always had troubles with my eating habits, but did not develop an eating disorder until I was 17. Ever since then, I have spent every single day consumed with thoughts of food, weight gain, weight loss, exercise and body image. Every morsel I put into my mouth sets a thousand thoughts into motion.
In two days, I will be 25 years old. Back when I was 17, I truly believed by now I would be free of my demons, with a structured life and a healthy mind. The reality is so much different: neither is my life structured, nor is my mind healthy.
That is why I have decided to work on myself for myself for more than a week at a time. I plan on finally cutting out sugar, or bringing it to a minimum. That is the first step. I will also practice mindfulness regarding the food I eat. Mindless eating, which very often turns into binging, is currently my biggest enemy. But I am stronger. I know I can do this, and finally get back to my ideal weight of 55 kg.
No more fooling around. The only person I was lying to was myself.
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