Height 5’10-11” HW: 476 (in 2016) SW: 446 CW: 280 GW: 175
Hi Everyone,
Kind of a long post but I’m going to do the whole timeline. I don’t even know if I have a question and maybe just want to vent.
I started my weight loss around April 2019. I was definitely the highest I’ve ever weighed. I would put money on over 500, but I never weighed myself. I didn’t weigh myself until September 2019 (446).
At first I was eating extremely low budget. Like a box or 2 of rice a Roni a day. Not heathy but not a lot of calories either. I started taking it seriously in September and started eating chicken and stir fried vegetables almost every day. I also got a significant raise at work and paid off a debt at this time, so I could afford more nutritious food.
From September until April I lost 20 pounds a month on average. It didn’t decrease with time at all, and January I lost the most with 30 (not for good reasons, I hit the gym and didn’t eat in response to some stress in my life).
In February, March, and April I put some effort into getting my head on straight. I feel like I made a lot of progress but it’s still definitely something I’m working on.
At the end of April I decided to “treat” myself a little (more as a mental health break, I didn’t want to over stress about food). I kept weighing myself.
On May 1, I weighed 295 pounds. Today I weigh 280. I was 272 a couple days ago but I think I’ve put on some water weight. Meaning I’ve only been losing about 5 pounds a month lately.
I know that’s not even a bad rate to lose weight, but I just feel hollow I guess. Before when I was losing a lot I was kind of suffering but I felt like there was a real tangible payoff to the effort. Now I just can’t bring myself to be so restrictive. I can’t force myself to only eat stir fried vegetables and chicken every day anymore. I’m trying to eat healthy (salads, fruit, nuts, minimal processed food) but I needed variety. Also, when you lose weight rapidly you can feel the difference more significantly. I can’t feel it so much anymore.
It really feels demotivating looking at another 20 months to get to my goal weight. I just want to feel like I have a body I can actually live in already. I used to be so worried about loose skin and I already have it but I don’t even care about it anymore. I just want to see who I can be. I’m starting to feel so depressed.
I feel like I’m stuck in mud lately and I’m barely able to move forward.
Does anyone have any tips on remotivating myself?
Does anyone have any simple recipes I could try? I kind of liked Keto/low carb style because I got less water weight fluctuations and felt full longer, but I’m not married to a diet. Just watching my calories. I’m not very picky, but do kind of have a small kitchen so elaborate food is difficult to make.
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