(TW: body dysmorphia) I'm 5'3" Female and I weight 205 lbs (94kgs) I'm 18 years old and I don't have any physical health issues. I've been a fat kid throughout life, and that hasn't really stopped me from excelling in my grades or hobbies and I love that about myself. However, I often feel like my biggest problem in my life is my weight. I've been told so often that I'm gorgeous and sexy 'if only you'd lost a little weight' and I've had boyfriends tell me 'I love you not for your body but for who you are' which I hate because it feels like they love me except my body and are willing to just look past it. I'm a medical student so I actually do know alot about weight loss and God knows I've tried. I've attempted working out and calorie tracking, diets and keto and intermittent fasting and basically everything under the sky. I do end up feeling better and lose a couple pounds and inches and my skin starts glowing. And then I just stop ? For some reason or the other I'll either let myself go completely or binge or just delete all the apps stop going to the gym, especially around my periods or emotional stress, or celebrations. I've been struggling so long, I really really want to lose 60lbs I want to be thin and look beautiful and clothes fit me and get rid of all this negativity in my life. I've been trying to lose weight since I was 13 ? And it's become so so exhausting. I hate everything about it, I'm crying as I write this. I've often thought it would be so much easier to get a disease where I just drop all the weight and I know that's very problematic but I'm so stuck. The thought of attempting this journey over and over and over again even thinking of it just tires me. The thing is I REALLY WANT TO BUT I CAN'T I need this binging/restricting cycle to end, I need to be able to stay persistent, it just doesnt happen. I hate that I'm this all or nothing person. I just want to be able to do this, but I'm so done. Please help me.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3gx43lS
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