Hi folks. So, like many people, my weight loss journey has not been linear and has been (still is) a long process. Total I've lost about 50 lbs in the past few years and 20 lbs in the past 4 months.
My wife and I live in Atlanta and our families both live in the DC area. I haven't seen my mother-in-law since Christmas 2019, and since then I've lost about 25 lbs. My MIL has a very unhealthy relationship with food and I believe she has an undiagnosed eating disorder. She is obsessive about eating healthy. She refuses to eat fast food or let anyone around her eat fast food, she rarely serves dessert, makes comments on the health level of every single food she mentions, eats, or looks at... etc. Of course this negatively affected my wife growing up as my MIL constantly made comments and judgments about what she ate and her exercise levels. For reference, both my MIL and my wife are healthy BMIs, not over or underweight.
Due to this I was pretty nervous about meeting my MIL when I started dating my wife, but luckily she has always been supportive, even though I was pretty obese when we first met. She never commented on my weight (to my face or to my wife behind my back) or tried to give me less food or restrict what I was eating. I think she generally likes me a lot and we have a good relationship.
However, apparently in recent pictures my MIL can tell that I've lost weight and mentioned it to my wife, who confirmed it. Currently my wife is staying with her parents and I'm staying with mine, but I'm going over there tomorrow for the day (our folks live about an hour apart). According to my wife, my MIL was originally planning on making waffles for breakfast but then freaked out because waffles are "unhealthy" and she doesn't want to "ruin my progress". My wife talked her into still making the waffles but MIL insisted on subbing fruit for bacon as a side. She was planning on getting us all seafood from a local food truck for dinner but now wants to make a Cobb salad because the food truck could have "greasy buns and fries" which is detrimental to progress on my weight loss journey.
I'm really nervous about seeing her and her constantly making comments on what I'm eating and/or trying to restrict my food. I am not, by any means, trying to eat "healthy". I count calories and stay around 1600-1700 a day usually, but on this trip I am eating at maintenance around 2100 per day, and I'm not strictly counting calories for this long weekend. I try really hard not to label food as "bad" or "good" and I do not restrict myself from ANY food. I simply eat what I want and eat less of it, maybe skip the bread or do a bigger serving of vegetables, things like that. I don't want to cause conflict with my MIL but spending 12 hours with her and having her make comments is going to be really difficult for me.
Sorry for the super long winded story but basically, does anyone have tips for me of ways I can respond to my MIL's comments without making her feel bad or cause a rift between us? I know her intentions are good and she wants to support me, but I'm going to lose my mind and get upset if she makes my weight loss the focus of the whole day and wants to choose my food for me. Thanks!
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