Need to sort my life out

Hi all, I'm in desperate need of sorting my life out and idk what to do.

I'm about 240lb and 28f. I was overweight as a kid, then as I got older I was on the upper end of a healthy weight, but since I was 21 I've been steadily gaining weight as a result of my mental health. I have anxiety and depression, which I'm currently on medication for (and have been on for about six months now).

I absolutely hate myself for not taking better care of myself but I just can't stick to it whenever I try. I've definitely been eating better meals in the last year or so (previously only really ate beige oven food but now am cooking proper meals with veg and choosing wholemeal options) but I still end up snacking on unhealthy options. I find it so hard to stick to exercise. I bought a stationary bike and decided this week I'd try to do 15 mins a day to get into the habit, however I felt so shit after work yesterday that I jumped straight in the shower instead of doing a mere 15 mins exercise.

I work in an office so am pretty stationary and although I could cycle to work, I'm too scared of the roads. I could walk (an hour each way) but I struggle to get up on time in the morning - I'm often a bit late as it is so need to sort that out lol. I did used to go to the gym but cancelled my membership as it was crap really and I guess I could join another but I find myself getting really stressed about taking time to go to the gym: I know that sounds stupid but I lie awake at night stressing about how I'm going to fit in work and socialising (now things are opening up) and keep in touch with people (even just messaging drains me so much, never mind phone calls or actual meet ups), housework and looking after the pets and hobbies etc etc, and then I think about adding an extra couple of hours onto that for the gym and that sends me into a spin. But that said I could do YouTube workouts or bike at home which would take less time (because no travel) and I still don't do that.

I just hate myself so much. I see everyone on here achieving amazing weight loss, and I feel so crap about myself and just want to get myself sorted. I saw a photo of myself just from three years ago where I look huge, and I know I've gained so much weight since then. I'm dreading going on holiday and I can't imagine how people must see me.

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