Hi, I’m 20M from the U.K. and had a bit of a shock to find out I’d put on some lockdown weight a few months ago. In early March 2021, I weighed in at 194lb and 171cm, making me obese in BMI. I have thyroid issues so weight control sort of escaped me quite easily but it really came as a shock as I had no idea I weighed that much - I didn’t eat any junk food, I was vegan, and I don’t have a sweet tooth. The food I was eating was good, it just wasn’t balanced - too much carbs and portion sizes, too little filling proteins. I’ll note I have done this entirely through diet changes.
I now weigh 159lb and am therefore a healthy weight, so I’ve been losing about 3lb a week. I’m really proud of myself as my end goal was 160lb and I know my health will be better for it. But I feel it’s become an obsession. I hardly eat anymore, and I only eat a small amount of meals such as salads, curries and soups that I know the calories for in my head. I’m terrified of gaining weight back, and I still can’t even look myself in the mirror since I feel I look as disgusting as before. I even convince myself I’m lying to myself about losing the weight and that my scales are broke.
So many people have commented on my weight loss as a positive but I think it’s turning it into an obsession, like an addiction. I’m too scared to order food out, and I’m too scared to drink anymore because of the calories. When I do drink, it makes me sick since there’s so little food on my stomach.
I know this is not sustainable. But I’m so scared to reintroduce food into my life incase I end up how I was again. I’m currently on about ~500-1200kcal per day but I have no appetite to increase this. I am a healthy weight now but my BMI is still 24.5 so I’d like to safely bring it down more.
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