As I get closer to the end of my weight loss journey and get ready for maintenance it has been a lot more difficult to lose this last 7 pounds. I have multiple "why's" that I came up with my dietician. I want to eat healthy and workout to lower my risks Alzheimers (my grandmother had it) and heart disease, have clear skin, be healthy and mobile when I am older, be confident in my appearance, look the way I look in my dreams. The list goes on but those are the reasons I want to continue on my healthy journey even after I meet my goal weight. The reason why I started was because of a terrible bachelorette party.
I went to a bachelorette party for one of my friends from college and I was the only one there who wasn't from her home town (southern town). I was already out of my element since their were a lot of inside jokes that I just wasn't a part of and honestly the girls weren't too welcoming. I was also the biggest of the girls by far. At 5'3 and almost 200lbs I was still more of a mid-size girl (usually size 14) but these girls were all naturally rather thin. They worked out and ate healthy but they had never experienced being bigger.
One of the surprise activities involved wearing thrift store prom dresses to go get brunch. The maid of honor had already bought all of these dresses and we had to choose from them. They pretty much all ranged from a 2-4 with one 8. As everyone was going through the dresses I felt my heart drop with every tag I looked at. The maid of honor said to me "I'm sorry Elise I didn't know what you looked like before so I just kind of guessed." She didn't mean any harm but honestly it took a lot for me not to start crying. Even when I was at my skinniest (130-140 lbs not sure as I didn't weigh myself) I was still an 8 as I am a pretty curvy person. The 8 technically fit as it was belted and I just got rid of the belt and wore it like a tent that cut into my arms. I felt like such a fat a** and was miserable for the entire brunch. I plastered on a smile because I didn't want to ruin my friend's day but man it was rough.
It was a pretty sh***y day but it did put a fire under my butt to start losing weight so I am at least thankful for that. I don't know why I thought about it today but I felt like I needed to get that off my chest. I know that this is a supportive community and I know a lot of us have gone through things like this before. Anyways lots of love to all of you humans and I hope you know that you are not alone in your struggles and that things can and will get better.
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