So I’d like to be completely honest. I’m currently 21, I’m 5’7 female and I weight around 200lbs. All my life I’ve always been chubby, and I was the fat kid that was bullied for it. My dad weighs over 400lbs so disorder eating has always been around my whole life. I usually sit around 160-180 as a resting weight range if I’m not intentionally exercising and eating mindfully. So I’m currently at my highest weight putting my BMI into the obese range. Earlier in the year I found out I was pregnant, but later the pregnancy was lost. So I’m assuming the extra 20-30lbs was from my hormones being completely turned upside down, I’m not entirely sure. Earlier in the year, before the unplanned pregnancy I was on keto, working out decently, and I lost about 35lbs in a few months and I hit my goal weight. Now that I’ve gained everything back and then some, I feel like I’m completely lost and entirely hopeless. I hate my body and I always have, and being this huge is not healthy for me. My partner doesn’t want to be intimate anymore (though I suspect that’s from fear of another unplanned pregnancy) and none of my clothes fit at all. I’ve been hiding in baggy jeans and t-shirts, and solid black yoga pants. The thing is though I don’t usually eat that much so I never understood why I’m obese. Even if I eat healthy and exercise weight loss is extremely slow, and I get upset because I want to see change and I never see any change. Even when I was at my goal weight I was still unsatisfied. So I’m really stuck here on what to do. I don’t know where to go or what to do about any of it. This year has been a living hell and I know that visiting my family for the holidays is going to be a joke, they’ll immediately call out my weight gain. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated
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