Perhaps this is a silly question, but it is one I am struggling with a great deal. I have been attempting CICO since 2015, but unfortunately that has only lead to yo-yoing in my weight so much that I am now 30lbs larger than in 2015. A (potentially unhealthy) pattern I’ve noticed in myself in these years is that if I embrace “love yourself” philosophies, I tend to gain weight, while if I am hard on myself, I lose weight. However, I recognize that hating myself isn’t healthy, and clearly the results it gives me are only temporary, or I wouldn’t be writing this at my highest weight (and lowest level of self esteem) 6 years in. I’m incredibly mentally drained from this experience, and both mirrors and opening MyFitnessPal have become painful, irritating experiences for me, to the point of me just wanting to give up entirely. But, I have a lot of dreams and a family that needs me, and I’m terrified of the health consequences of obesity. (Which have become more apparent in my 30s). Additionally, I’ve never known what it’s like to be beautiful/healthy— my mom needed to put me on weight watchers at 8, so all my conscious memories are of being fat. I just want to feel proud and powerful and beautiful in my body for once in my life.
How can I both be happy with who I see in the mirror right now, and push myself to stay disciplined enough for weight loss?
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. I fully recognize that my psychology around weight is not the healthiest, so I’m hoping for some outside perspective. Family/friends just insist I’m not fat, even though BMI places me in the obese category.
Have a beautiful day.
(Edited to add two missing words)
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3gbUJDx
No comments:
Post a Comment