Hi! I am having a laparpscopic sleeve gastroscopy tomorrow. A little back story.
I once lost 40 kgs in a year, and went from 130 kg to 90 kgs. I stopped my weight loss there, so that my body could regenerate. I planned on gaining 5 kgs back and that happened, no stress.
Physically I lost the weight perfectly healthy. I lost very little muscle, all my tests were good. I was excired about that.
But mentally I was in a tragic condition. I didn't have OCD back than, I was my OCD. I had to weight myself at least 30 times a day, hampering my mood each time, because I was heavier than in the morning. I bodychecked myself all the time. Wrists, biceps, neck, collarbones. I had nightmares of seeing 3 digits on the scale. When I overate by 10 kcal, my mood was ruined.
It left me mentally fractured.
And than, in the beginning kg 2020, still being around 95 kgs, I had a bad breakup. I was given bad meds by my psychiatrists and the lockdown happened. I spent over 2 months quarantined and only thing I did was eat, play video games and sleep. I ballooned up back to 130 by May.
I started therapy in April and am still undergoing it now. In late September I had another breakup and I got to know the full details of the story in November. I ate my feelings up to 150 kgs.
Now I am 135 kgs and in a good place, mentally. My therapist and my friends will help me lose weight again, this time with the right mindset. And this operation is a tool to help shed the excess kgs, and more importantly, keep them off. I am excited. I probably will follow up.
Sorry for being incoherent, I am stressed and didn't sleep, English being my second language does not help writing poetry here haha.
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