so, basically, im a girl, 16 years old, 160cm tall (5'3) and I weigh 60 kg (~132 lbs) and i need weight loss advice. a few months ago i was really overweight. i was a chubby kid since i remember, but i gained some weight during quarantine in 2020, mostly due to stress, emotional eating and eating out of loneliness and boredom. i dont know how much did i weigh exactly because i didnt have a scale back then, but now my clothing size differs over 2 or more sizes. losing weight back then wasnt really difficult, i watched what i ate, but if i wanted to eat a kit kat i just allowed myself to, on the condition that i'll burn all those calories. sometimes i ate less than i actually needed. and i lost the weight! i wasnt overweight anymore. i think. my bmi says that my weight is normal, but its leaning towards being overweight a little bit. when i lost that weight a few months ago, i was really happy. i felt that i actually liked how my face looked, i was happy to look at my flat stomach and feel bones when touching my fingers or see veins popping out on my hands. now i hate myself, even more before the weight loss. i have problems with body dysmorphia since i was a little kid. i hate looking at my face that looks so weird and wide, i hate looking at my gross calves and thighs, basically my entire body grosses me out. i just cant look at myself in the mirror sometimes. or i obsessively body check when im out in public. i constatly compare my siblings' or friends' bodies to mine. i think about how disgusting i look in photos. i think about how no one will ever find interest in me if im not attractive. it's shitty. i desperately tried to lose even more weight. but now i just gave up. im just depressed. i tend to emotionally eat a lot. mostly sweets. mostly because im bored, or lonely, or depressed or whatever is the reason. its still summer holidays in my country so i just stay home alone most of the time until someone from my family comes back from work. i try to limit calories and exercise but i also feel like i dont give a shit anymore. i tried restricting food, eating around 1200 calories cause that was the recommended amount of cals according to myfitnesspal, i wrote down everything i ate and then binged. its annoying. i hate my body, but at the same time i dont even feel like i care about losing those few last kilos. im so jealous of the super skinny girls. not underweight ones, but those good-looking skinny girls or boys. its not fair. i wanted to sign up for a gym place but the problem is that im a minor and i need my parent to show up at the place and sign up some papers at that gym so the owners will know that i didnt fake the signature. the relationship with my mom is kinda strained and i dont like telling her if i need to get money for something. i know she'll make a fuss about her going to sign papers to that gym (cause we live a bit far from the city) and once i heard her mocking me with other family members about where did i get the money from. so its kinda shitty. thanks for reading this, sorry if it's long, thanks for the advice. have a nice day
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