I am a 20F, who has had a life long issue with food. A lot of it stemmed form the fact that I have a emotionally abusive mother that didn't give me enough attention from a young age making me seek comfort in food. This lead to an insecure parental attachment ➡️ ocd, social anxiety, and depression from a young age.
I have been going to intensive psychotherapy for over a year now, three times a week and alongside meds, I have finally being seeing progress in my mental health. A couple months ago I decided I was in a good enough place to give weight loss a serious go.
I have noticed for a while that when I try to improve myself whether via therapy or dieting she keeps getting in the way. I remember coming back from my sessions really tired and her telling me to stop going because it wouldn't do anything and that I shouldn't put in too much effort, instead to just try and coast by. Nowadays she keeps forcing me to eat. I'll come downstairs and she is shoving food in my plate telling me if I loved her I wouold eat it. Anytime I reject her offers of food she takes it as a personal offence something that seems common with immigrant mothers.
I have tried to explain to her countless times that I am trying to get healthier but she says that she likes me fatter. I have also asked her to keep the junk food in the house in a private place only she knows but she insists that its her house too.
You have probably guess from reading it but she's overweight too. The doctors have been saying that she needs to lose weight or she will become diabetic. Sometimes she sees my progress (I have lost 15kgs) and is jealous wishing her body was more like mine but when I encourage her that it can be, she just stubbornly insists that she likes being fatter.
Tldr; mother stubbornly insists it's fine to be fat. She also tries to change years of emotional neglect with food and it's only making it harder for me.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3j9DHYB
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