Brand new member. Hoping for some insight from those who have "been there."
I started my "journey to health" quest in February 2020. My goal was to lose 80 pounds. I stopped eating junk food, avoided "almost" all sugar, ate primarily fruits, veggies, nuts, whole grains and legumes, had chicken once a week. I've always been an avid walker/hiker, so my activity level was pretty good. At that time I averaged walking 4 to 6 miles every day with varying terrain, intensity, speed, etc. I did well and by December 2020 had lost almost fifty pounds. Only thirty more pounds to go. It wasn't easy, and I had a few setbacks, almost all of which involved issues with my aging father. During those setbacks, I'd gain a few pounds in one week, then get back on track. I was very pleased with my overall progress when December rolled around. I was 0.2 pounds from the 50 pound weight loss mark and wanted to achieve that by January 1, then continue the same plan until I lost the remaining 30 pounds. I was averaging 1 to 2 pounds loss a week, except for the occasional setbacks.
On December 14, my father became ill (not Covid). Long story short, he passed away on Christmas Eve. Not surprisingly (to me) I experienced a set back during the ten days of being at the hospital all day every day, but was pleasantly surprised to see that I'd only gained back four pounds by early January. OK, once the funeral stuff was over and done with, I'd get back on track. That was the plan.
Never happened that way. I continued to gain. By February I had regained 30 of the almost 50 that I had lost. I have "restarted" several times, losing a few pounds here and there, but always going back to my old eating habits and gaining it right back. Since February, I have lost a little, gained it back, lost a little, gained it back. So now I'm back to needing to lose 60 pounds instead of 30. And, here's what I don't understand, I CANNOT SEEM TO GET BACK ON TRACK AND STAY THERE.
Losing the 50 pounds wasn't easy, but once I got started it wasn't all that difficult, except when Dad issues arose. SO I can't for the life of me figure out why I cannot simply "do it again" and this time continue on to reach my goal weight.
There MUST be some psychological reason for why I keep sabotaging myself. My dad was my main source of stress for several years, and now that stress is over. And that's when the weight starting coming back. Do I feel guilty that he died and that the stress is finally over? Have I just replaced the stress of dealing with him with guilt over being glad the stress is gone? WHY can't I just got back to the way I was eating--making healthy choices every day, eating reasonable portions, etc. WHY do I keep giving in to the cravings? I do well for three or four days, lose a bit, then BOOM I'm back to binging. Every time I do well for three or four days I think "OK, I'm finally back on track. I can do this." Then it all falls apart again.
I have a FABULOUS life. I am way luckier than many people. I am full of gratitude for all that I have, the peace and solace in my life. My activity level is very good--daily walking or hiking (6 miles or more most days), daily yoga, daily meditation. I am profoundly grateful for what my life has become. EXCEPT for my weight and my seeming inability to do anything about it. I was doing so well for so long, until Dad got sick and died. Why did that derail me so thoroughly that I cannot get back on track and stay there? When I was eating well, I never felt deprived. I wasn't hungry all the time. I felt GOOD. I want to feel GOOD again but can't seem to get there.
Sorry for the length....just had to vent about all this. Any ideas appreciated......
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2U52Euw
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